affettuoso + grandiso

2006-03-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

hey beautiful people. moving on. injecting new spirits in my life, it's called blog therapy.

even as i embrace a whole set of freshness of life being 21 and above, i leave behind the past.

it has been really lovely, this journey of affettuoso-grandiso. fabulicious. thanks for walking with me this path.

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-03-02T21:43:00.000-08:00

all cries out. Never again, will I shed tears for you. 2 great promises broken. But you, remember what you’ve done. Oh god, please give me strength to face that light on that day. The final moments. The deed is done.
Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-02-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

a lot of people always ask me.. why don't you wear those accessories that you make yourself.. well, i honestly do... i just dont' wear them all the time.. you know i think it's the same idea as why do hairdresser always have the worst hair, (though not very true these days) or like how come the dress makers are always the worst dresser; or ah.. this one is the classic case. how my dematologist has really never kept up with maintaining her looks... making accessories are like a passion for me, really derive a lot of fun and satisfaction from it. but, a personal practice is that i do not wear my own accessories all the time, so as not to be trapped in that creativity space. to move on, seek more inspiration. explore the different types of patterns and design out there that i can link to accessories. but of coz, i still wear my own, =) after all, they are my love and joy.. haha.. there are so many things to create and so little time... not to mention, it's really a high-end and labor intensive enterprise... no kidd' about that. and that i do remember reading about such enterprises that you'll only break even after 2 years... so you can imagine how draining resources this hobby is... haha... yea, so... it's simple.. why i don't always wear my own accessories? just want to be always inspired, and not get stuck within that blop of creativity... must always renew and rejuvanate then you can always be at the edge...

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-02-07T19:15:00.000-08:00

the thought for the week is.. how much do you know about the entire issue of christianity? how much do u know about the facts in the bible? or is it even accurate? gee... i seriously have no idea. i do know that, in an era that we live in where we are so dependent on what other people tell us, because we are so lazy, what on earth are we consuming? u know someone once told me, it' a very dangerous thing that i'm studying social science.. i now know why, u question everything you see, even the theories themselves, you question things you do, u analyze. gone are the days whereby you're a cute little girl or boy and just taking in whatever they tell you. u know, i was quite surprised when a professor told me that in the europe, there are so many churches, BUT... the amount of goers are so little... to think that people keep thinking that christianity is a european religion. i'll like to think it as a religion coming from the middle-east... since it christ was born in bethleham. to think about it, when was christ really born? i used to think it was 25th december till rui told me, it's not. it's just for convenience. and having thought about it for sometime, it's quite freaky. how much do i know about the god i'm worshipping? and how much do i know what i've known for in my life about christians? what on earth am i doing? it feels really queer, coz it's like.. i'm doing things based on what my pastors tell me. it's like a silent suicide bomber... believing in group thinking... i think even as i'm saying this, a lot of my seniors in church would say, coffee and tea? haha.. like always.. the problem about it is... in a group, it's either you belong in the group or you're out. and the thing about a group too, is they will convince you to be in their group. pressure etc. so what happens is they will say, oh u're spiritually dry. u've gone off the course. and if you doubt it, they'll say oh u must have faith! u little faith. of coz you won't see any results! then they'll quote you some testimony. it's quite funny, coz... after a while, i just sit there and observe. and it irritates me, coz, i always link stuff that i've learn of group thinking etc on what i see. and can quote what they say, and what they do to like group thinking. and you become wary of it. but seriously, how sure are u on the religion you are in? i'm not... i still do believe that there is a god. but, i'm not too sure what i'm doing. like, tidings, they say have to give. and it's quoted in the bible. but, how sure are you that it really writes you must pay 10%? thinking that we are a society that treats everything literally, and have long forgotten the language of the past. it's like taking an item out of context. as i you all know, the language in the past, is so different. for all you know, when they say 10% they mean 30%! 1% or a sum? it's just unknown. in all organizations you must have a charasmatic leader, in this sense it's a pastor. a person of knowledge and wisdom. or so as they say. and what is different about a religious leader and a normal leader? a relgious leader is one thought of being a person chosen by god, and has a lot of knowledge far more then anyone.. and so we do not question. okay i think i might just banged for saying such stuff, especially in singapore. but it's for the sake of the country's citizens, were we love harmonious, and it's not good to upset other races, cultures, and relgion. that is perhaps why singapore has been so successful so far. which i'm thankful for, can u imagine having riots everyday> i think we'll still be living in poverty if it's like that. but anyway back to my issue. it's not that i've anything against pastors, church, christians or any other religion. it's just that, we have to think what we're taking in. we should not be brain-washed to an extent of irrationality. and i'll be on a journey of finding out, when is the exact birthday of jesus?
it's just so interesting.. aha
Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-02-05T07:37:00.000-08:00

i think i've fallen in love with foreign films. not the typical blockbuster hollywood films. but those low budget films. be it, in japanese, korean, french etc... my favourites are still japanese and french. somehow, they are way much better then those 100 US million budget films. some how, as they have a story plot etc... which is marvelous. my favourite movie which has been ranked to my top fav A.I, is be with me. a japanese film which is intriguing, moving, and totally sweeping me off my feet . there are indeed a few movies that i really like so far, that most of them is not highly publicised in singapore. like crash for example, it blew my mind away. now watching this weird how called big girls dont' cry, it's a little ironic and very different from normal films. but the whole point is, i truly like films that are different. =)

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-02-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

you know, there was this friend of mine, who commented that i dont' dress up to go school.. haha, then i was thinking about it... i think i really am bo chap when it is comes to going to school. must carry this, that, and still must dress nice.. hmmz... haha... but yea, it got me to think... and i think it's a respect to dress appropriately... as i grow older and have reached the age of 21... (which honestly, feels no different then being 20) start thinking stuff like, what is your own branding... (sound so smu line) but seriously, how you dress, how you portray yourself, what is your personality... hee hee.. then u know, i've so many sides... the infamous bo-chap side which is, t-shirt and jeans and my fav birkens. so typical... and it's not like your pretty femine t-shirt but more like, band t-shirts, my fav being one from the far east records. and, then i have my causal i love my skirts side, where i pair more feminine shirts with skirts and yes, my fav birkens. but truly, if you ask me... i do have another side which not many pple see... i love goth! if i could, and if eye-liners were more washable, i'll wear eye liner everyday. maybe it's a pssing phase of life, but. i do have something abotu black lace, and things that is like goth. you get the point. i hate the angelic looking outfits actually. okay, not to such an extent of hate. but, u know... if life is all about being angelic, i think it's a bit imbalance. like, if i dress all girly all the time... i can't think myself of the sweet ger spinning around in all feathers... erm, okay.. what i mean is, i prefer personality in the outfits... i don't like corsets though.... too kinky for me... and, i think the tribal style is so yesterday some how... which is something i used to like when i was in primary school. yes, primary school. the batik skirts, the sea side look. yes it's yesterday thing liao... i love accessories which speak for themselves... i know i do make jewellery, but from what i've learn in class from prof liang thow yick, you must internalize knowledge before you can create new inspiration. basically mean, i need to seek inspiration then i can create new ones. what better way then to indulge in jewellery, and i've 2 bold pieces. though if i ever wear them to church, i'll be deem... hmmz, no i'll probably have to go for coffee and tea... but yes, my fav is this one which is purple beads with black ends, and blue feathers. and the best part? it has a dimonte cross. when i saw it, i knew i was going to buy it. it was just screaming my name. but no no, i can't wear it to church, if not there would be some talk that i'm rebellious or something, which in no way is... but, u never know... anyway, i truly like bold accessories and it has to be unique. and i love chinese motifs. like there is a chinese silver motif necklace that i bought in far east for a steal. by accident as well. but i do like it... but the whole entire idea is... as you grow older, you try to define and have different taste for outer wear. and by dressing nicely, and something you like, you will feel better and in a good mood! i know i can't wear tube tops for nuts, but... i know what i love. lace, silk and goth, and MUST be tastefully done, well-cut and sits well. there is a thin line being sexy and sleezy... truly... there is... u're only young once... if there is a time to be bold, it's now... oh and did i say, i am contemplating to highlight blue?

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-01-17T17:45:00.000-08:00

happy birthday to me!!! ha ha.. it's quite hilarious, but i'm gonna turn 21 in my international econs class, since i was born at 11.34 am... so... yuppz.. and my class ends at 11.45 ha ha ha...

but it doesn't feel any much difference, except 21 comes with more responsibilities, like now i must remember to vote during elections, if not i might get jailed...

and now i can register my future businesses by myself and remember to pay my taxes, if not i would get fined...

and now whatever i do, i can get jailed... so come more reponsibilities.. ha ha..

the saving grace? the prof is funny...

and tt'll mean i can spend my 21 birthday totally from morning.. =)

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-01-17T07:25:00.000-08:00

my 21st birthday is turning out to be a night mare... the party went great... but, as i'm closer to 12 hours to being 21... i'm getting even more paranoid... maybe i should just spend the hours by myself, at some sea side looking at the sea, to reflect on life and people around me... throw away all expectations and see what happens... u know, actually i did want to spend the time alone... decided to catch a movie by myself after school.. orh, not to mention, i need to go school from 830 - 330. then thereafter i shall see how... so what happens if, i decide to disappear for the night, forgoing the dinner.. orh not to mention, my parents actually didn't want to celebrate my birthdy on the actual day... wanted to celebrate either on thursday or saturday... then... i think aiyah no point la... actually i'm already not in a mood to celebrate my birthday already... anyway, back to my original plan.. wanted to catch a movie alone... then after that i go esplanade take pictures of the setting sun.. go to the coffee club some where to eat a cake and then i can prepare to go home... or, going to sentosa is not a bad idea also.. but i'll just be carrying a lot of bags... then... my parents decided that i was grumpy and decided to celebrate my birthday for me... and then it spoilt rui's plans also... gee... maybe i should just embark on my lonesome plan... called reflections of adulthood... just so sad... and to think i was suppose to be happy about it... argh... Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-01-09T04:57:00.000-08:00

i think... my previous blog entry made a few ripples... but oh well.. anyway, change mood a bit from betrayal of trust to something sobby... u know i just finished watching this show called be with you... man, it's now next to my favourite movie of all time called A.I the only difference is this time i could hold my tears in... unlike in A.I for no apparent reason, everytime i watch it i cry buckets of uncontrollable tears... but, the thing about be with you is firstly, i think i can appreciate the spoken language of japanese to such an extent that, sometimes i can understand what they are talking about... thanks to rui's dosages of animes... ha ha.. anyway, the thing about be with you is that it boils down to simple story plot... unlike the hollywood's action pack film that sometimes have no story plot.. be with you is something that kept me at my seat for the 2 hours... it's enchanting.. like u wonder, why she can't remember a thing... why she fulfilled her promise of coming back after she died... why she knew when she was going back.. why she gave her son a story of the mom going to the galaxy etc.. it was soemthign that i kept thinking about... and not to mention, the actress was really pretty! okay, and the son was so cute!!! like so adorable.... but, truly... it was a magnificent film that i do not regret buying... there's just no words to describe it.. it's not as drama as lovers in paris, but still it made a greater impact... and it's no way cheesy at all.. just beautifully written and filmed.. brilliant

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-01-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

The fragility of friendship.. even as i fast approach what is known as the key to freedom.. it suddenly dawn on me, and frankly speaking i am a little shocked and stunned and disappointed to know who are your friends to keep and who are not... people who claim to be your best friend good friend, may not be afterall a true pal... thinking about it, what on earth do i want for my 21st birthday.. and some claim that i have everything under the sun, what do i need? frankly speaking... it's not that i go for branded stuff like i wish and hope for... i once told dom, if ever... ever... i was like the size of normal singaporean girls, like an xxs or xs, god, i would not be buying stuff like mango and zara... i can even buy a t=shirt at a road side stall! it's just that, i like clothes that fit me that can go with me at least 2 years down the road with me... like, u know what's the diff between levi's and a normal pair of jeans? levi's can go with me for 5 years down... even though, it's steep intially and most people are like wow.. levi's but truth is i have worn my levi's for at least 5 years, and i only have bought one pair of levi's for myself after saving up for eons of years... the rest is my sister's and it's pass me down... but it's becoz my size, does not fit a regular size ger's t-shirt at a road side stall... so for clothes, i have no choice but to pick in terms of quality... and that is why, i am selective of what i choose.. and it's not by choice my things are usually found in zara or mango... i just look kiddish in things like op and i itch in materials found in bossini... i have sensitive skin for goodness sake! anyway, back to why i'm utterly sad and disaapointed... friends who claim they are your bestest friend seems to fall when it comes to your birthday.. and worst is 21st brithday.. i think i'll celebrate my next brithday and a big one when i'm age 50... so for goodness sake! it's like one of the last brithdya to remember before i get married... u know what i seriously hate.. i hate it when you do make sure that you put in effort and spend your last dollar sharing a present for a friend even though, i'm not very close to some... and, paying in like, a month later becoz i've no money to eat... and what do i get in return? people who claim to be your great friends are not even willing, and say.. sorry pal, i've no money to even fork out 10 bucks.. i know, certain friends of mine cannot afford to pay that sum... but i know others who can and are not willing... great friends of yours...they claim.. i'm utterly embarrased by myself to have established such a poor relationship with people, or have been misguided to think they are my pals who would stick to me... that for 21st brithday and they claim to be your great pals mind you.. that they are not willing to fork out 10 bucks... okay friends i understand.. coz, not so close.. but close friends?? very great ideal friends?? ha... only on the surface right?? so it is thus. on my fast approaching 21st brithday... i truly understand. that some so-called great friends are seriously not so great after all... and some really okay friends, i think they even treat me better! and i'm so gonna cherish these people who really tried and will make my birthday a little different... u know, at the end of the day, it's not that i look at the finances and say, wow, if you give me 20 bucks birthday present i'm going after you coz, i'm after your money.. but it's the thought and the heart to want to make your 21st birthday a memorable one... and thus, my so called great friends who are no so willing to spend on my 21st brithday.. dont' think i'll do the same for you back.. coz, mayeb we aren't so great pals after all... this is called betrayal and trust... so sad so very sad... and to think i knew that this was coming, since last year.. coz, no one bothered to celebrate my brithday... and promised to celebrate it for me this year... i know you pals, and watch it.. coz, i;m very very utterly sad and dissapointed, and it'll show... but for the rest of my friends... whom i've forged a bond with, and i know you guys to be very very nice to me... i'll write another blog entry about you guys.. =) i promise!!!

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-01-04T04:52:00.000-08:00

test Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2006-01-04T04:51:00.000-08:00

Si.n.g My. L.ov.e

2005-12-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

welll well... been a month since i last blogged.. life couldn't be more exciting... a lot has happened over the past weeks... lemmesay it one by one.... it all started out when i got involved in a minor car accident when i drove rui home... (which caused me to be very afraid to sit in any form of moving vehicle... have this weird vivid imagination of cars banging into one another) then, i lost my handphone in a fitting room in zara... my E700a... sigh.... then... i lost my camera... which is less then 4 months old... i still remember tt day, i kept crying and crying over the lost of my camera... becoz, i was very frustrated that all these things are just coming... but it did not stop there... this week has been such a whirl of events.... first fluffos... my beloved hamster, accidentally hang itself.... yes, HANGED itself... then... i found out my sister mis-birth... i was so looking forward to being an aunt... what's more.... my childhood friend was involved in a bike accident... and lying in hospital... pretty sad chain of events... as she was lying there in the bed... witrh slurred speech, my heart just felt really painful... even though we have not spoken for quite some time, there are those people whom u know in your childhood days, tt bond can never be changed... i thankgod she's alive... but seeing her in pain, makes me feel awfully sad... and the mmt she goes in and out of consciousness.... makes me wanna cry.... actually i did... life, is so short... one mistake and you can be gone... through it i learn something though from all th sad chain of events... material things is something u can always earn back... but when it comes to loved ones... even though, how bad things may be... must love them more... and forgive and forget... if not sometimes it may be too late... sorry is the hardest thing to say?? not being able to say sorry, will kill a relationship... anyway, talking about relationship.. i was sitting downstairs just now waiting for car and i had to over hear quite an interesting conversation... basically, there this lady screaming at this guy that he does not love her and that he has been cheating on her and he is a liar.... worst.... he cheated her of money... so she was screaming at him to return money... that is not it... the interesting part was when she screamed at him, either to return her the cash, or to break up with that ger... and she went to do another step.. she checked out the airport for tickets... for his name... and found out that he has lied to her, by saying he is out with the other ger.... anyway, the moral of the story is... love and money are 2 separate things.. have to keep them both aside till after marriage... if not it might be tricky... next.... never ever two time! and worst.. never fall for a person, when the person is dating some one... and the evil of them all.. never ever ever fall for married man or woman... deadly... especially rich ones... yuppz.. tts all i can say... ha ha...

2005-11-26T04:16:00.000-08:00

HA! anyway... am listening to a self composed music by dom... very interesting and talented person... though, haven't been hearing newer songs from him... but still.. talented!! i wish him all the best if he ever gets to the place he has always dreamed off... =)

2005-11-26T04:14:00.000-08:00

the exit of one, comes another... when one door closes another opens... what you see now, may not be what you see in future... opportunity is something you have to fight for and pray so hard... i believe in everything you do... 90% is hard work, 10% is prayer... as i was thinking about all the friends i have around me... who knows what will become of everyone in say 5 years?? some will have their breakthrough in career, some, probably job hopping.. and most, still schooling.. and ha! who knows, some of us would be hitched!! but, the important lesson of the day is to pick up from failures, from things that make u very very sad... and face the light of tomorrow... as some one told me... all things may fail you, but the moment you truly fail is when you yourself thinks you have failed... i know i have a couple of friends who, believe that they are a failure at everything... some how, struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel... but, as long as you still struggle and reach out from tt end, there will definitely be someone there who is willing to give you a hand.. but if you don't even try yourself.. no one can help you... some of my very successful friends.. there's one thing tt i do admire about then.. they have courage, passion and the motivation to work towards that goal... i believe that, inside everyone of you and myself... there's a light inside of us... for those in despair... and whom i'm really concern about... u've gotta help yourself before anyone of us, can even give u that hand... it pains me to see tt light in u dimmer... geee....

2005-11-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

i truly think.. something is wrong with me.. for the better of coz, but.. i really think my tastebuds has changed... why? coz, i've been able to take milk and not spitting it out.. fresh milk not chocolate milk, and i think it tastes great... and, i've been eating green peas and think it taste great, vegetables, and carrots and all the nonsense.. cooked one of coz... and i really think all of them taste great... i've developed something against chicken... though it's still something i eat almost everyday, but i prefer to eat fish... weird right... from a ger who once staple meal is macdonalds.. to a ger who's chomping her vegetables up... *scratch head* perhaps the finishing touch final meal course of spring chicken did the drastic trick... anyway, christmas is coming!!! and my exams are next week.... and amazingly, my room is going to be neat and tiny... whenever i feel stress, i pack a part of my room.. and looking at how neat it is... and once i'm done clearing the mess in my cupboard... i'll start clearing my books outside... it's really quite amazing... i can even see floor space in my room... haha... another thing to be happy about... my maple character is now... a good level 30! going 31!! so happy.. =) okay, time to head back to the books!

2005-11-13T07:01:00.000-08:00

today, marks my first time serving in lol as drummer... amazingly, by the grace of god, it went, pretty okay... though, there were hiccups here and there. u know, many people say, wah, first time serve not bad.. but actually... i did serve before in drums, but it totally screwed up.. mainly because, i had no confidence, and i knew too little to even play one song right.. minus the band pieces of mulan and abba gold of coz... tt one got train so not a problem... i think what i truly lack is creativity and confidence... and many many practices... i was kidding with my mum today, tt i feel i'm better in drums then piano.. i mean, okay... i'm still an amateur in drums, and tt my skills at piano far surpasses my skills in drums. but one think i notice is, i've struggled with piano all my life to play to right key, at the right time. and i do not have a gift of hearing and playing it out immediately.. but when it comes to drums, its like once i know the beat, i know the beat end of story... and a lot about feeling the rhythm i think it's something that either you have or you have to train a lot... oh well... but i love both of the instruments.. no competition there... and i must admit, i still need to improve on my skills and knowledge.. i think if mr. seah heng loong john didn't teach me, or at least impart some knowledge, i wont' be able to play for nuts today either... i need guidance. maybe tts whats wrong with my piano... i've no one to look to for improvement!!!! since day one, i throw u one times piano and a score book... without chords.. play for me the song... i mean, i'm like... wah..... i'm not tt gifted alright.... so it was hard practice... but i think i still suck at jazz playing of drums.. tt one super high level... really truly madly deeply, might have something to do with my millitary drums training.. i can play beats that are on beats very well... but off beat must practice super hard... anyway... i really HAVE to thank god... it was an obstacle to sit there and play, coz of prior failure before... before i played, i told god this... ha ha.. so tt u know he wont' blame me if i play wrongly.. i said, god be it good or bad, it's all for you... and, when the music played and everything, just this feeling in my heart, let the spirit flow.. just let it out.. and then it just did.. i guess, it's not me, but tt father was in the house today... seriously really truly... i've NEVER ever worshipped while playing drums before.. but today was like woah... could feel HIS presence all around the room... it was like the spirit took my hands, and played while i'm in the sweet aura of god's presence.. honestly, if u ask me.. i cant' really recall what i played for the slow song.. coz, i was singing most of the time.. and yes, closing my eyes while beating the drums... HE was so real... so very real.. and the sermon today was so powerful.. until i can suck thumb and be a little kid again... i've been worried over my next year's study.. so much tt i've forgotten what it is like to have faith in him. if i say i've faith in him, then why should i cut down on serving times??? or, why do i want to pull out from the activities?? if i have faith in him, i shoudl change my lifestyle for him, and he will provide for me... do i believe in tt??? or have i forgotten i once believed in tt... hee ee.. anyway.. i ought to go back to do my paper... =)

2005-11-09T18:33:00.000-08:00

when was the last time i stepped into town? oh yah, yesterday.. but dont' think i went there to shop, i went there for school... actually, i've likened the idea that SMU is in town... ignoring the price of food, coz i can always bring food to school, and now there's water cooler i need not spend money on water... it's becoz.. now i no need to walk so far from one school building to another like in old campus... and, the bus 14 stops directly in front of SESS so i'm always on time for classes if i catch the bus at the correct time... and u know what, orchard road is dolled up for christmas again! so pretty.. so fuzzy warmly.. BUT.. i have no time to enjoy that till i finish my exams.. talking about exams... i'm so gonna pull my hair out... i've 4 subjects to study for, all heavy subjects, and i've a mediation session to carry out... i've 3 term papers to hand up next week, and... this rmss is really driving me nuts, in order to know how to do my term paper, i have to sit down and read my textbook once before i can even start... and the awful thing is, boss has been opened! for those who do not know what is boss, its basically a bidding system for you to bid for your classes, looking at my next year's time table.. if its successful, i've only one thing to say... NO LIFE... why? look at the exam time table... week 5, week7, week10, week13, and major one at week15 and week 16.... basically, i'll be mugging every single day of my life... before week 5, there's this very important thing called chingay... and something more important called my 21st birthday.. thankfully, my birthday is before my exam... so... i can take a week to chill and celebrate my rite of passage to adult hood... being 21 means i can be entitled to my goodies like if i win a lucky draw, i can say, yes i can claim it coz i'm above 21... but it'll mean i'm too old to try the slide downstairs my house... unless i've a kid with me... you know, i can't tahan the thought that uni is so much tougher the jc... jc, still have time to laugh and play, and relax.. uni, the stress is like mounting... i'm way below avergae in my grades and if i dont' do something about it, i can kiss graduating good bye, or even! i can't get honours... sigh sigh sigh.. anyway, i'm baack to studying...

2005-10-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

ARGHHHHH... it's the last month of the study term.... feel thy stress of project and exams... at the same time there is dance and choir.. thinking of not joining choir, coz... i don't think i'll be able to attend the practices. think about it, 2 weeks i'm down for exams, one week away for hols, come back, still got time to practice meh??? then i'll be done for chingay ushering planning... hmmmz... anyway, time for me to adjust my time... how? i shall attempt to wake up at 7 am everyday till the end of the exams... and sleep by midnight every night.. need the extra time to study... for this week till next monday, i shall spend time finishing off politics... then, next week, got 2 hols right?? i shall spend it on rmss term paper, and sociology term paper. and then, i can happily start studying for my exams... sigh.. on top of which, have to juggle church stuff, there's dance, musician, and meetings after meetings.. i dont' know if it's becoz my intelligence drop or what, but i've not been doign as well as i should in school, that's one very bad issue... grades is not the end of the world, but... i've responsibility to my parents to do well... anyway, time for lessons

2005-10-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

father, teach me. Teach me how to listen more to your word. Teach me how to walk your path. Teach me how to move on in life, teach me to draw strength from you to do so. Father, teach me to love all my friends more, teach me to sacrifice more time to spend with them, to enjoy their presence, and really, be able to interact with them from the bottom of my heart even more. Father, teach me to understand your word. I really need the growth in you, i've been stagnant for too long, too unhealthy. I need to be inspired again oh lord. Father, Teach me your ways...

2005-10-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

am listening to sermon online now... by jennifer heng.. on one voice the power of corporation.. u know... think about it... i've been saying that i'm not receiving enough from sermons in church.. tt i crave to learn more... but then.. i never realise that.... there's sermons online! u know.. i'm not trying to say that being in a chinese min is bad.. just tt.. being english educated, listening to english sermons are much easier to understand directly.. and everytime i go for the sermons in english i can relate better.. coz, i won't be always trying to twist the words in my mind from chinese to english.. but, i decided.. i shall listening to a sermon per day..though, i might not be able to finish listening to today's sermon.. but will try... to finish a little... anyway.. in regards to today's sermon.. is about why corporate worship is good...

2005-10-17T06:30:00.000-07:00

almost a month after. updates! new stuff tt is not reflected on myfairydust has been launched at inqbox. so do go take a look! =)

2005-10-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

I NEED TO REVAMP MY CLOSET!!!! actually, i think i've already have... hahahha... lost inspiration to shop actually.. but i couldn't resist buying some tops when i went to zara... am into the french way of dressing with all the lace and girly frills... like, tt time i bought this purplish tank with the gathers on the strap... then... there's this spag which i've not worn yet... tts also purple, quite nice... then... actually tt's all i bought... hahahahaha... but recently, my sis dumped a lot of clothes out... amazingly, i can wear some... so, i've new stuff... =) but what i've really been ooogling at... is a boyish laced shirt from zara.... thinking what on earth i can wear it with... it truly is very nice... to me la... my sis hates it... but i love it... it looks boyish in a way, but sexyish boyish... alright... what am i talking... it's a little translucent.. so if i want to wear it to church, i've gotta wear a tank top or tube inside... but, it really looks french. truly, french... anyway, there's another shirt tt's nice too.. it has this high collar... but u know what's stopping me from buying both??? one is 119 the other is 89... where i get the money to buy??? hahahha... so i'm thinking over it seriously.... but for the mmt.. i'm like looking at my closet and.. trying to mix and match all my clothes differently...

2005-10-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

i so need a new skin for my blog... need some refreshing changes again... the hols are here... got so many things to do.. it's project after project... u know, some how, i think i truly lost my spirit of going out... esp to town... i've no idea why.. it just doesn't seem to entice me as much as when i was in sec school... some how, i lost tt feeling man... i'm so much happier cramped at home, in front of the tv set, or maple, or playing with hammies... though, it's not a good sign.. i wonder, if it's becoz after u enter uni and u spend so much of your time outside trying to finish up your homework tt... simply, staying at home is such a privilege or is it becoz.. i'm now so lazy i won't mind going out as long as there is private transport home..actually i think it's becoz i hate walking long distances now... it's just the ache in the knee tt drives me nuts and if u walk for too long, u get all dizzy and tired.. (signs of not exercising enough..) anyway, the chingay parade preparations are coming up soon.. gonna be one long, i don't know what.. but sure is exciting.. the only thing is i can't wait for the ndp preparations u know.. i'm like so pro-ndp... i love esp the planes flying.. gorgeous gorgoeous.. i so think it's a silent fetish of mine to see planes fly pass.. more then ships... i love love LOVE helicopters esp... ARGH... i so can't talk properly for the next few days and tmr have what??? FT formal dinner... and, u must do net working.. and how am i to even eat in peace or talk properly when there are ULCErS in my mouth! and pple, i'm embarking on my getting back into shape programme... after JC i think i've put on some weight that some folks are complaining already... i so have to lose it lor... when i get well, i shall start running again...i swim weekly though.. so that's not too much of a problem... maybe i should stop doing so much sit up and just lose the flubber... then.... ah ha! good good.... okie, talking nonsense... start of my hols... and i'm so disoriented... all i want to do is to sleep and sleep and sleep... oh gee...

2005-10-02T20:08:00.000-07:00

NEWS ALERT! NEWS ALERT! HAMMIES INVASION! not one not two not evn three but four has made their debut at my house. living harmoniously (so far) in the cage of hammie's it's been approx about one month 2 weeks since hammie passed away and in his place, 4 hammies have called his home, their home. actually one of them looks like hammie, act like hammie too... why le? u see the 4 hammies right.. 2 are specially crossed bred and are white winter dwarves. the other, which resembles hammie, is a brownish grey wintrer dwarf. the character also a bit like, becoz... that hammie is the most relax out of the whole gang. feeling right at home, once put into the cage.. whereas its the 2 white babies that are like exploring, biting cage, jittery and not sleeping! the last one is a roboskvi. at the mmt their all in the same cage living harmoniously, but once fighting starts between the robosvki and winter whites then i'll seperate them... their all one month old, independent and has a full coat of fur. eating every other hour. so, i guess i need to put in tons of food. now for their names... the 2 twins white ones is called fluffos and pampers, fluffos being the one who's a little fatter. the hammie lookalike is called fruity tv. and the roboskvi is called toothy. weirdly, they are all seemingly friendly to each other. maybe in a few days time i can determine their gender and realise why they are so calm towards each other.. hammie's politics.. hahahha....

2005-09-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

oh just to clarify, in case any god loving citizens decide to condemn me. i've nothing against the belief of religion. or, tt there's no god. just tt i'm trying to emphasize tt should not depend on a 3rd party to know more about god, you can intially gain the spark through the wisdom of another, but in order to sustain it, you've to seek your own light directly through the father. then u'll truly understand and come to terms that it's really true. like, now, even after saying my entire thought on this issue, for those who does not see the spark, will not see the spark until you see the spark. ironic, okie forget tt i said tt.. hahah... but nevertheless, i believe god exist, becoz. through the miracles i've seen, and the way i felt him alive in my life before. i knwo he's alive. now i just need to find tt life in me again.

2005-09-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

ah.... one month later.. and i'm blogging again! so stressed up.. exams piling up like a mess... you know being in social science is so extremely stressful. just reading and reading and reading.. even if i hated to read last time.. now trained to read... aiyoh.. one week must read at least la... in order to stay in class alive and awake. one class 90 pages, i've 5 classes... but i'm taking 3 cores... so... in a way... 270 pages... crazy la... hahaha.. no wait... plus econs... tts... 360 pages... madness... hahahah.. anyway, over the past few months, there's a lot of debate going on in my mind.. like, 1. what is religion. 2. poly. vs. jc. vs. uni which is worst... ehz.. actually i only had time to think about these 2 issues.. hahahahaha... so, back down to the first point. what is religion. been thinking alot, esp with this subject called perspective on pluralism of politics. it gives rise to 4 diff perspective. the individualistic (who believes in rights for everyone and tt there's no crisis at all in the world, unless there's no privitisation or at least harness wealth for r&d) the hierarchy (who believes tt government has the knowledge to gov the pple, and set rules coz the whole world is stupid) the egal (who are the ones who believe everyone should go back to mother nature, and be tribal pple, veryone care share!) the fatalist (nbow i find this group of pple very interesting. they are the selfish brats who believe they should get the best of everything). then it made me think about religion. being a christian for such a long time, you're taught the proper ways of life. you are taught that you have to go church, coz it's good. you're taught to love one another, and don't kill. you're taught to max your caring and sharing. then, i tot to myself, it's very egalitarians... many pple can debate tt religion can sprak off wars, becoz we always believe we are the ones who are right, and others are the crazy pple, all other religion are wrong, coz we have one god and only one god.. so we try to kill each other softly (at least for the extremist, they go out full fledge to annihilate think about it, it's a bit like saddam hussein or even hitler creating a pure race). but then, i concluded. religion means nothing, wait don't blow your face at this comment. i'm not trying to renounce my own religion and condemn every single religion alive in the world. there's a thin line between getting brained washed by other's to believing in a certain strand of thought, and, knowing what you believe in your heart is true. think about it, in my walk as a christian, i've been listening attentively to my pastors. or at least i tried to be honest, i even started taking down notes! but, lately, my walk has dwindled. becoz, i realised, i've depended too much on the feeding of others words, then knowing straight direct from the bible, direct from god. what's the best way to know what is christianity? it's through god himself. and through no other middle man. if not it's like, might as well be an ancestor religion coz my mum brings me, i go therefore it's my religion. then again, back in church, we have pple saying, ehz, you know you have to do this this this. if not you'll be that that that. cannot tahan. to a certain extend. coz, i feel a great sense of pressurization. self sacrifice for the greater good of the kingdom of god, and he will bless you greatly. but sometimes pple use this to their advantage. the enlightenment i really receive out of thinking for a month. is truly, just ask god directly what he wants you to do. and do it. i hate being brain washed by people. it's silent manipulation, even if they dont' realise it, coz they were also brain washed by others. and if you don't believe in it, it's called sin. okie okie.. too extreme.. then soon after, i'll get bombarded by people to tell me that what i've typed for this entire entry is somewhat wrong.. and that being a leader you can't be like tt.. is bad example. you have to go through tons of counselling. but, i think counselling is a form of brain washing. with care and share. anyway, god is the greatest of all man and all saints... so who should i listen? men or god? i go for the father in heaven. so, right now. no one can stop me, but i'm listening to him more then anyone else. then i cast doubts tt i'm recieving everything through a 3rd person... next on the debate of poly vs. jc. vs. uni

2005-08-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

i'm thinking of hammie... I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!! i miss holding him in his blue cloth. miss looking at him in the eye and say hammie today u naughty ah. make so much noise, or hammie today what happen to u. how come u look so dazed? u sick? u know.. just miss patting him on the back.. miss seeing him eat and wash himself.. =( hammie is so tame u know... so tame.. so choosy also.. with regards to food. like me! missing hammie blues

2005-08-21T21:06:00.000-07:00

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2005-08-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

the day hammie died... little hammie has joined animal heaven.. when i reached home, i saw hammie lying very still in between the toilet paper roll and wooden piece. i tot, tts odd... i called hammie's name.. it didnt' respond to me. something is amiss.. then.. i saw it's hand was very stiff, not moving at all... in an odd position.. alarm bell went off... i opened the cage... kept calling it's name.. hammie hammie... no respond.. then i used my finger to press on the tummy. it felt warm... i saw the whiskers moving in the air... till i realised it was caused by the fan... i used it's favourite blue cloth to pick it up... then when i tilt it over, tt was when the truth dawn on me... hammie's half other side, was flat. means... the muscles has ceased to work. but it still felt soft.. and warm.. hammie died. judging from the body temperature, hammie should have passed away around 8 plus 9 today. at night. then i wrapped it up in his favourite blue cloth the one i use to cuddle him in when he's sick..and needs medication. and placed him in a box... then i wrapped him up in blue paper.. and tied a red ribbon to it... my mum placed a flower on the box and i placed a card... now when i walk into the living room hammie is no longer there... but he has lived a full life. of 2 years and 2 months. very strong fighter who has survived 2 operations to remove tumour... but the tumor was cancerous. and it couldn't be stopped. hammie... lives on in animal heaven..

2005-07-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

ah... this is probably the 4th week into mfd... i'm shag... hahaha... been cateloguing almost every single night. now, it seems more, neat, wrote down how many pairs per earring, etc.... the price stated... coz, plan to go to flea market mah... =) then hopefully sell faster. now, what i need to do is.... do up name cards to give away on this comign saturday! deadline.... argh... seriously... then on top of tt i've to revamp a little of the necklace section. which i have to do.... this week as well... oh, which i think i should write a little on lol so to show case this coming sunday. and i need to write up on about us fairydust... so much writing to do... this week, once again.. for the earring stuff... i've to ask my jie to do it liao...coz, i need to take the time to upload photos etc... wah.... okie time to get started on the write ups... =)

2005-07-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

felt darn stress yesterday. coz of the badges. like, i felt this pressing time period to do this badge thing. tmr i shall call these other 3 companies for quotation. went to baybeats yesterday. surreal is good! yuppz.. the only sad thing abt the baybeats is i wanted to get this vertical rush shirt. but sold out... WAILS.. so prety u know.. so cute.. and some more it's in white. and i love white t-shirts so much... my slack wear... hahahaha.. to school... on days, i just feel down to earth. anyway, updates about the accessories wah... my jie ah... she superb she did so many new ones i think i'm going crazy just cateloguing them. not tt i've anything against it. but it's just tt on top of cateloguing still have to do picture taking, uploading etc which take sforever and ever... it's fun but tiring. about church. keyboard lesson last weeeeek! so exciting! the ultimate! what shall it be then.. heh heh... still so in debt to so many pple... in hundreds ah... no it hit a thousand already... though, things are looking better... really truly.... coz, my good lord takes such good care of me... he loves me a lot i know... nvr starve... heh heh... okie, i shall go sleep liao!

2005-07-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

31st is coming soon. the badges not done. i can't find tom. stickers haven't collected. lyrics printed. pictures not printed. song haven't practice. i'm more worried about the badges then anything else. coz, left 1 more week to do. perhaps i should source for badges making later. suddenly felt overwhelmed during baybeats a lot of tots in mind. couldn't get the nice white vertical rush shirt. simply too late. in life, a lot of things, the opportunity is there means its there. once gone, it cannot come back. maybe a nice shower do me some good. prayers, lots of them.

2005-07-07T11:06:00.000-07:00

friends, it's up and running.the webby...

2005-07-06T02:56:00.000-07:00

starting to make costume jewelery is hard chore. it's fun to begin with. but to hunt down for the beads and loose ends is really a challenge. to have inspiration is another thing as well... currently, the number is not much. but at least, my jie and i have started to take up speed. with the occassional dry spell of coz... i just hope tt once the webby is uploaded there are as many buyers as visitors. i pray hard..., oh well. =) and hopefully pple like the design... oh well, time for piano... and hammie is doing well.. but he's been sleeping and sleeping..

2005-07-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

update update!!! little hammie, just went for surgery. last friday, gan spotted this huge lump on hammie's body. which i intially tot it was a normal balding spot. alas! it's not suppose to be. anyway, after tt. i brought hammie to see the vet today. to check up on what is wrong with it. i intially tot ithammie was diebetic coz the urine stinks. and it's pee ing more. anyway, the vet said. hammie is super healthy minus the lump on the body. and the verdict? it's a tumor. hmmmz.. tumor... yuppz tumor... tumor on a little fellow's body and i tot it was growing fat. anyway, little hammie went for an hour odd surgery. and it's a fighter i tell u. it's 2 years of age, already old enough for a hamster, but it's such a brave little fighter! and it's energetic, if not for it's look, i tot it's a baby hammie... anyway, i'm so happy it's alive! and, tt hammie is so brave.. so very brave... =) and it has antibodic, and it's now in a tiny cage. but it's alive and healthy and it does not bite... so gan u may be right about it being aggresive becoz it's in pain... =)

2005-06-27T03:06:00.000-07:00

oh brilliant.... i found out something today... i have a gmail account... i mean, i remembersigning up for it, but ever since tt day.. i think i used the wrong user nick. so i never ever knew tt i had a gmail account.. woiw... interesting

2005-06-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

hey dear beloved frens... can u hear the mango sale calling? can u can u???? i can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! being a typical singaporean ger, crazy over mango stuff... i went mango sale today.... interesting enough.. i did manage to find good stuff even at the unearthly 4 pm... i tot tt everything will be snapped up by the office worker or the ks pple in the morning.... but no no no.. i did managed to find good things... =) things i bought... 1. a denim skirt (which, initially i dind't want to buy it.... coz, it's a faded colour... but then.. decided to reserve it... which in the end i bought it) for 36 bucks. from the usual i think 60 odd ah... then... 2. i bought a black sleeveless singlet... for 19 bucks which intiially was from 49 or 39(last minute i saw and grab and go.. good find, look like the one from country road...) 3. hahahahhahaha.. ifound a new brand new loud pink zig zag tube which i bought for 36. from 55. hmmmz.. but my fav find... was this... 4. a green silk shirt... i love it.. coz it makes me look ultra elegant. everything fits properly, the colour the tone.. he texture everything.. love it.. but at a steep price of 43.. but it's silk. but i really love tt piece a lot. but unfortunately the ger. very careless scratched the back.. sobs sobs... but it was amazaing, coz i felt like i was fighting a war.. going into mango... esp the one at taka.. crazy like anything.. but it was fun.. heh heh...

2005-06-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

something for u to look at for the day... http://ibs-support.com.sg/ read it. something for u to think about. u see, this is called irritable bowel syndrome of ibs for short. the person can either have. 1. constipation or 2. diarrhoea. and... listen for more... u see, a person with ibs. could symptoms like heart burn, difficulty in swallowing, stomach bloating. hmmmmmz.. the weird thing is, i swing between constipation and diarrhoea. worst is constipation but what comes out is like diarrhoea like. and must go toilet all the time. then.. still have... heart burn. once in a while, i feel this sense of pain near my heart. so i presume its called heart burn.. right? anyway, then.. there's this stomach bloated thing.. which i think from a kid, it has always been there.. then my doctor always say i got stomach flu... hmmmz.. but whats interesting is... how did it happen? 1. stress. 2. trauma. 3. food poisoning. think... so, what could have started it.. if i have ibs tt is... 1. stress and 2, trauma. i think i don't have food poisioning (unless u count the recent beef burger i ate in china. which, i think might have caused my current bout of indigestion and pain in the stomach. which if u don't know by now, there was a day in china in kun ming where i ate one beef burger, and i immediately knew something was wrong. i didn't know what it was then, but my stomach hurt on the spot.then, i had diarrhoea and then i went out again and had to go back to the hotel immediately coz, i think i was breaking out in cold sweat, feeling very nausea and, any mmt my stomach was going to blow. so when i reached back to the hotel it was quite funny, coz at the door, sheng tat told me, hey, u want me pass u medicine? then i was like, i'll call u. but what he didn;t know was, once i closed the door, dropped my bag, i dashe3d into the toilet, and without waiting, all my entire beef burger, apple tea, vegetable. everything..all came out.. interesting ehz..) anyway, back on the main topic. just wanted to raise awareness, tt if u have experienced never ending bloated stomach, constant constipation or diarrhoea. u may have, ibs.. yuppz.. i do suspect i have this.. actually.. really... i'm lactose intolerant tt i know. i can't drink lipton tea with sugar and no milk (unless i'm oin the mood to puke everything or use it to clean my stomach) what i need to do, is to continue keeping track of the food tt i eat and have a violent reaction. eat lotsa fruits veg, and drink my daily staple yakult which i love. i guess my mummy is right, sometimes, certain illness tt u have is for life, just keep praying. and a miracle wouldhappen to lift this ill fated syndromes. so all of u out there.. next time when i say i have stomach ache, bloated tummy. or why on earth do i look so chubby all the time. esp my tummy.. there's a reason behind it all.. i've a bloated tummy. and nothing can change tt... whats the downside u ask? seriously, it's just when the syndromes strike, u dont' feel like eating anything coz, i's either too painful to move. or too bloated to do anything. yuppppz.. =) i'm all too well aware of it.. hahahhaa..

2005-06-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

dear beloved one and all... i've discovered a darn nice game... http://www.thehidingroom.com/thehidingroom.html go try it.. but prepared for a time boggling cycle.... muahahahahha.. but it sure is rewarding when u finally finished it.. =) tts for sure... gonna blog about china trip soon.. so stay tuned!

2005-06-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

my dear beloved frens... i need your prayers... i've fallen ill! and at such a critical mmt, when i've begun my 3 days working as ice-cream seller. and next week going to china... feel so shitty... what a lovely time some more... anyway, shall tell yoru a testimony... yesterday the amout of money i had left in my wallet was 1.15 bucks. i had no money to eat. but still have money for transport becoz, i topped up my ez link card... oh, but i'm still in debt to my mum for 30 bucks... then, i was wondering today how... how to eat.... coz, no money.. then i tot okay la... whole day i depend on ice cream alone.. coz we have free ice cream to eat... then, i got a free supply of fruit juice... some more my favourite fruits and veg. but then.... my dad suddenly asked me yesterday.. u want your pocket money ealier? wow... and then i had money to eat today... hahahaha... =) so, i treated myself to pineapple rice with chicken for lunch and a kfc small burger for dinner... and had supply of ice cream and frui juice.. wonderfully done... and i bought this interesting book on alzhemier. written in a very unique way for 6 bucks... tmr i'm going to the stall to hunt for good deals... lovely books they sell u know.. seriously.. kings publisher... it's amazing how, it is when u're poor, u look for the best deals to buy... and they are really the best deals... coz, they'll go a long way.... i was cracking a joke to my jie the other day.. i asked her... jie ah... is it, my size is really non singaporean ger like (in other words, i'm insulting myself) all the clothes i buy hor... all are on like sale fo rlike 50% or 70% one.... and it's the truth... coz, i've been buying stuff tt are like way cheaper then it used to be... okie, i think it's a blessing, coz... yah... it's a blessing... but, it just shows how god leaves the best to his children... and he knows his children will appreciate them.. anyway, i think i better go sleep the medicine making me drowsy... took about 30 min for the effect... oh no... drowsy drowsy....

2005-05-31T10:16:00.000-07:00

dear beloved friends... something worth waiting for... my jewelery pieces... heh heh... but it's still on the way though. so yuppz stay tuned k? been so busy doing odd jobs and designing the earring pieces and crafting them by hand... it gives off an interesting sense of satisfaction... once it's up and running, i'll annouce it and your must support hor.. hahahahahaha... =P anyway, next week going to china liao.. for mission trip. so fast lor. haven't gotten the time to sit down and pack my stuff... and in the mean time have been doing like survey, and soon sell ice cream.. exciting ehz.. and in my free time, doing earrings.. =) okie, time to go sleep!

2005-05-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

guess what? i cooked dinner tonight! and guess what. i cooked chili crab! wah.... not bad right.. from a girl who was once banned from the kitchen in fear tt i might blow something up... to knowing how to cook.. hahaha... =) (though, i still dont' know how to cook rice.. must aks my mum next time) maybe i've hidden talents for cooking, u nvr know.. haha... but cooking is really fun... as i've discovered it to be... so for those out there who say they don't know hot to cook. fear not! coz, by some weird turn of fate, u'll learn and even be impressed with yourself! hahaha...

2005-05-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

so what happens when a disciplined family meats a non-discipline family? bam,.. u have yet another reality tv.. this time its called wife swap... and whats so interesting? what i learn from the show is, there is a reason why pple get married, and stay married... u can't just swap your husband for another... u know... there's a reason why god placed your kids as your kids... and not some one else's kids.. becoz, he wants u to learn in a family according to the best tt your parents can... he knew the exact genetics tt your made up of... it was hilarious sitting in front of the tv for 30 min to watch tt show... coz, if u ask me to swap my mum or my dad for another mum and dad.. i doubt i'll like it.... my parents are the best for me! and anyway, whilst i was watching the show.. this is what happened.. the 'rule mum' made rules in a family tt lives on no rules... and, made vegetable meal for a family tt has been eating snacks, beef etc for their live (btw, they are really darn fat...) anyway, the 'no rule mum' made beef for the entire family and allowed the kids to snack all they want whole day, allowed them to watch cable tv... no spanking in the familoy etc... and it was hell for both family. the no rule family was torture fied... coz, they had to wake up to do chore.. and the ruled family.. had to endure the pains of eating meat every day.. *and they put on weight* anyway, it's really funny... coz, it's just amusing how, the wives are so dominant in making new life in the family... anyway, time for my nap.. becoz i've to wake up at 300 am later so.. yuppz better go sleep first.. =)

2005-05-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

having so much fun making my own beads... different design and stuff.. i did some research on the beads tt are available and i concluded one thing.. it's either i've auntie taste. or, cutsie looka likes are not my cup of tea..becoz i suddenly realise there are a lot of lookalikes... like, a lot are like copied from stores u see... u know, tt day i went to this bead shop at far east. i felt so insulted by the lady.. even though, yes i know she meant well/.... when i was looking for the parts to put together for a very long time she said this..hi, u looking for something? why not u look at the earrings we have and see what u need. 1. i don't like to copy cutsie lookalikes.... 2. why should i copy your store design? i might as well buy from u right? but oh well, i know she meant well so i didn't push any more... anyway, created these 2 earrings. 1 is oriental looking, another is err very femine... kinda like it a lot... oh well
but plan to make a lot of design and then promote or market it to my fellow friends so *ERM ERM* yea, u who are reading this.. u know liao what to do k? hahahhahaha.. =) anyway, it's fun u know seriously! though, i don't think i've the ample equipment.. but, do within my means.. and to think what stirred me to really create pieces is becoz i wanted to churn money for mission fund.. or rather, when i really have nothing to eat... brilliant way of ensuring my creativity juice is still flowing... =) heh heh

2005-05-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

dear beloved frens.. the next time u look at a singapore coin.. look at it in a different light.... u see, i a little bored.. and being very broke, i decided to open up my piggy bank... and guess what... i got hooked onto seeing when each coin was 'born' and guess what.. it's truly amazing, coz from the coins itself u can tell what singapore needed at the particular point... like, from observation.. 1997 was the year all the coins were the shiniest... and, tt 1995 was the time (my guess la.. is tt got emphasis on gst) coz a lot of 5 cents... and 1 cents as well... and then.. the period of time with the least coins are 1992 coz i've none 1992 except for a pathetic 1 cent coin. so....................... ladies and gentlemen do a favour... when u look at the coin... check for these years and cents... 20 cents 1992,1994,1995,1998,1999,2000,2001,2002,2003.,2004,2005; 10 cents1992,1994,1995,1996,1997,1998,1999,2000,2001,2002,2004,2005; 5 cents1985,1991,1992,1993,1994,1996,1998,1999,2002,2005; tts all i'm looking at now though.. coz, 1 cents is out of phase.. and i'n not tt rich to look into 50 cents and 1 bucks yet.. hahaha.. =) was looking at the ebay there's this seller selling the 1992 entire set of coins for 14.45 usd... ARGH.. so EX!!!! so.. frens.. help me look out k?/ =) hee hee... i'll gladly change it with u...

2005-05-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

yea!!! i just received my super belated birthday present from tom... =) guess what?? it's a smena 2!!!! it is so authetic, it has the smell of an antique.... serious! when i first got it i was so ultra careful, coz i scared i would smash it or something... now, i can say... this is my 4th lomo cam! first was my lca, a present from kevin, then a super sampler my sister's which apparently, my jie fu made spoil... hmmmz.... then got the frog eye, a present from kevin for birthday this year.... which i haven't gotten a chance to use yet.. coz, it's an underwater cam! and now my super super antique camera... smena 2! from tom!!! so blessed u know... wah.... oh then, my parents bought this unknown brand auto cam... hmmmz tt has no zooming in and out at... 400 bucks plus... wah.. tt one i really feel the heart ache.. coz, it's not really very good *in my eyes la..* but hiakz.. what to do what to do... now. all i need is to find film to start taking pictures!!! =) so exciting!!!

2005-05-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

you know.. it's how amazing God provides... it's like... 2 weeks into my low budget ways... and, i think there's not one day i starved.. instead i think i've eaten a lot u know... hahaha.... it's so interesting, coz... the only think i've cut back on is the shopping... hope tt some how,i can manage to buy this white suit i've been eyeing on at mng for some time alreayd during the sale or something.. my take on it.. if it's yours its yours if its not yours then just wait.. something better will come along... anyway, it's so interesting coz in my free time, have been spending time creating jewellery pieces as some of you might know... the strange thing is i had interest in creating my own pieces quite some time back but nvr put my heart into it.. until recently my jie wanted to buy this extra expensive necklace for 98 bucks... and i said, i think it's super ex, come lemme just do oe for u or something tt cost much cheaper.. all right.. i think, i did make one tts relatively cheaper. but it's a little cluster-ish.. so... i think i'll just go ahead and attempt to do simpler but chic pieces.. but ever since i've got hooked.. and i've this inspiration to make this scarlet series (obviously red), but i've yet to come across great beads so.. it's still kiv... though i managed to chance on this beautiful green beads at some ulu shop... and i think once i get my hands on more similar beads.. i'm gonna do a bracelet and sell it... or maybe i'll give it to my mom...hahaha... now into my oriental mode... so.. hahahaha.... and now, i've name 2 shops my fav bead shops for the small little stuff... but SHHHHH it's going to be kept a secret unless of coz, i think one or 2 pple know it coz i told you... but... SHHHH.. it shall be val's fav haunts... so SHHHH.... and u know what.. i think the more commercialised bead market in singapore sells beads at a HIGH price... so... i'm just going to go around singapore to search for nicer beads... at a cheaper price... muahahaha... next week plan to go to like chinatown or arab street or little india... maybe i shall go little india coz i love the culture, sight and intriguing designs there... (if u didn't know.. yes, i prefer the indian saris design and the bangles and the bling bling of the indian culture a lot...) come on! i love mustafa! =) hahahaha... great stuff there u know... hahaha.. all the orchard area is too commercialized and too how would i say, it eats your money up... oh well.. talking about which,, i better get going to research more...

2005-05-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

hmmmz... u know, i've not experienced being so broke since i was jc 2. i sometimes wonder, how on earth did i actually managed to survive with just 10 bucks per week in my pocket. but, of coz.. i could save on my transportation fees then coz i just walk home and walk back... tts all... yesterday was the 1st time in my life, i was so hungry, i almost cried. and it's unbearable one u know.. but after doing some calculations, i just realise.. i seriously have 0 cents. to even last. thankfully, my ez link card still got money. and stuff... so.. yuppz... think about it. not i'm just worried about transport. can't possibly, i walk to school right? it's how far.... don't eat nvr mind. dont' buy drink nvr mind. coz, can fill from the tap... so it's okay. but. hmmmz... transport? wake up at 6. 00 am every morning then take 2 hours stroll hahahaha.. no la... dont' need so crazy... 1. 5 hours should do just fine... hahaha... k, laughing at myself... haizk.. but what good is it to keep thinking and go according to my own strenght right? pray, tt by god's grace i'll survive through this 5 weeks lor.. =) then after tt.. once hit june.. yea... hahaha... and who knows.. i'll lose my tummy involuntarily.. to be exact, i think it's already half gone... hahahahaha...

2005-04-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

dear beloved one and all.... =) 18th JUNE is a day to look out for.. WHY may u ask... becoz, mr. mingren, mr. samuel, mr. dominic and (i still haven't gotten the other guy's name) and i are putting up a short 45 min jazz performance.. i know, i'm still very new to the art of jazz playing, but still.. i'm not dismayed.. can make it one... >>>> today, was the 1st jamming session... really fun.. though, i must admit, i've not done my homework properly.. i didn't listen intensely to the drums for those songs.. so when i went in, i screwd up a bit.. and all the guys in the group had to teach me the rhythm.. (i think my seniors will be so disappointed in me) but never theless, i'm grateful tt they taught me... coz, i gain something in return.. now can ploay one simple rhythm... just need to be more steady in it... tts all...)

2005-04-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

dear beloved one and all.. did u get SPOOOOOKED by the music? coz, i did when i first heard it. but think about it. and hering it so many times, it compliments the look of this page. adds atmosphere..like, some sad tale to some horror show.. this, is therefore my new outloook of my blog for the mmt, whilst i design one of my own tt can last.. this is, my 3rd design already. or was it the 4th? hmmz, lost count. first was blogspot's own, then the darkened star, then the gothic purple one tt died halfway. any more? and now this! wah la! but i quite like this cutsie look. very fantasy... wanted to create one tt is loud, but.. since i've chanced upon this.. looks like living in a tragic fairytale like tt. add such a dramatic touch... so me.. drama drama.. life, has been messy for me.. my room to begin with is super messy... went out with mayann yesterday to shop... goodness, we had such a fun time in far east shopping center alone we just shopped there and only there... (amazing right).. and i'm so happy to have gotten hold of this little black dress though it's very translucent, but i think it fits me perfectly. borrowing my jie's petticoat to wear.. but i'm so amazed and at such a steal as well.. for 15 bucks~ at little match ger, mayann bought her bag there as well for the same price.. and we were very happy pple.. wanted to buy a dress for such a long time.. but all super ex... =) and then, we went to this jewellery shop. usually when me and my jie go in, we come out very headache. but i chanced upon this gorgeous looking vintage earring. brilliant greeen. gorgeous u know.. for 5 bucks, then this cutesey looking indianish prety earrings for.. this the ex one 11 bucks... but in any case.. i'm so happy with the black dress.. and u know what, i think the great singapore sales is coming.. coz, i see all the stores are like sale sale sale.. already.... hmmmz. i wonder when mango sale is coming. i need to get, one jacket and a pants.. i know which one i want to get a white pants and a white jacket,, tt fits perfectly. and maybe perhaps this mango jacket... but actually.. tts all i want from mango... hahahahaha...

2005-04-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

darling beloved one and all.. pls wait, for about a month before i get a fresh look to this blog site. i know, the links are down. the pics are down, basically a rotting blog. havent' gotten the time to source for beautiful blog page, nor the time to really blog proper. sorry sorry. wait til my exams are over.. and i'll start doing something to this long rotting away blog, alright? shall add some funk to it.. at least, i want colours.. live it loud. u know what i mean.. =) and for those who saw melike on sunday, yea.. u're only young once... adding colours to my wardrobe and re-stating tt i do have a life and i'm not auntie okie... just tt, i was too lazy for the past few years, so jeans and t-shirts were my choice.. but yes live it loud.. colours are the in thing.. muahaha.. afterall, i like the art side... the formal side seems a little boring.. alright.. democracy here i come.. goodness me.. i've one more chapter to go before i conk out and start studying psych.,.. argh............................................

2005-04-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

the song i wrote goes like this... it's a mix between soul and country :dedicated to who else but HIM: (btw, i haven't name the song yet)
Amazing love, how sweet the song can be. Agreed to die, for me you laid your life. ~ Amazing love, how sweet the sound can be, that you my king, gave up everything for me. *From morning to darkness, you took my hand and leadth me. and showed me what was kindness, and wiped my tears away.* I shout glory to you, majesty. I shout glory to you, king of kings. Hallejuah! Hallejuah! Hallejuah to the risen one.

2005-04-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

yo young woman and man! =) wrote yet another song today... just wanted to share how amazing out god is... u know, when we are super stressed.. it seems to me.. tt personally, the best songs comes out from it? perhaps coz its really from the heart... as i was sitting in front of my piano, i was reminded of how i've grown.. i remember tt i stopped serving as a worship leader and sotp singing completely becoz of what some one had said.. "val, u can't sing" think about it, i was silly to have believed in that lie. true, i know i don't have charlotte church's wonderful voice, or stacey kent's jazzy tunes, or some soulful voice... but at least i can hold a tune.. just need to practice to sound constant tts all... nvr really gone thru voice training before... and even as i was reminded about how i've come from tt ger with a weak voice to a person who's finding her agenda in music... i'm so thankful god didn't give up hope on me.. tt, even though i was unsured, he was sure of me...=) afterall, it's not about men, its about HIM.

2005-04-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

hee hee.. lagging as usual... *now it's the exam period* got 15 chapters of psych to study, 5 chaps of democracy... and on top of which still have twc which i don't know how to study for... hmmz.. 1 week, suppose to cramp all the knowledge of these fields in my brain..., brain brain brain.. talking about brain.. do u know tt the grey covering tt covers the white mass in your brains weighs 80% of the entire brain? and tt lay it out flat it'll cover 2500 cm(2) worth of area.. hmmmz.. not bad not bad.. =) okie, shall go study for a while.. then come back and blog.. if i've the itme...

2005-03-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

as i was saying. yesh prawns... i love prawns.. but i think besides the animals and the food.. one thing about pulau ubin tt draws pple there is the landscape. the old kampung feel. (i fell in love with this pink coloured house, whihc i've named it the nippon house), the authencity it has compared to the conserved shop houses in china town. the roofs of many of the houses are broken and overgrown with plants. and pple burning wood acting as insect repellant? i mean, i didn't know about such thing till i noticed one myself. men, walking around tanned and topless. and must i say MUSCULAR. and even the women folk they can make any teenage ger on the streets embarrased coz their way much tanner. u can spot wells at far end of the island. my fav spot is actually the beach nearest to johore. the shores were much cleaner, and the sky was just brilliantly lit. the quarry was also very beautiful. tranquil and peaceful. fishermen catchign crabs and fish. (u know u can catch sea bass and groupas i think.. at pulau ubin? one day, i shall arm myself.. and go fishing...) alright! i'm going to bed!!!! =) tata~!

2005-03-30T10:02:00.000-08:00

aye aye aye... hee hee.. still picking up time to blog... =) oh well.. anyway, i had a great weekend!!! coz, i went on a trip to pulau ubin.. it was really fun u know... sat the bum boat, reached the little island at about 10 am. i think. then cycled for 6 hours aroudn the entire island (besides the OBS side, coz tts out of bounds.. literally) till my butt ACHED... but before i touch on tt let me tell u the little secrets of pulau ubin.. at least from my 6 hours of experience with the island. the island is free for all, but unless u drop down from the sky, or is an islander there, darling, u've gotta pay $2 for the ride there. (1 trip i must add... for a round about, pay $4 in total) but from what i know,it's definitely more refreshing then taking the mrt so, i dont' mind paying for tt $4. renting a bike for a day cost about $2 to $8. depending on how new it is. mind u, its for the entire day and not an hour or what, (like those tt they charge in east coast... extortion). the island is has 25 families in total (not sure if they have decreased over the years though.) and, there's a head man's house. and each motor vehicle has a license plate tt says PU something something. a pity tt it has become commercialized over the past few years, with roads becoming tarred and solid black. unlike a few years back where the roads were unsafe, comprising of gravel. if u want to see monkeys swinging around freely > darling, head to bukit timah hill.. here, in pulau ubin, i didn't even see a single monkey (must be in hiding), although i did see a rooster and chickens running around and making weird noise (these chickens are actually the ancestors of the domesticated chickens in seng choon egg farm etc) and pulau ubin is the only place u can find them running around wild. there is a spectacular array of wildlife. (maybe one day i'll run into a wild boar) but i did almost run over a monitor lizard (but a tiny one) no i think it's called iguana.. yea, almost cycled across it. thankfully there's some thing called brakes. i met a swarm of mosqi seriously, a swarm. and something tt looks like locusts cum hornets (don't know what are they actually...) lotsa beautiful butterflies (beats going to the butterfly park at sentosa). the food on the island is really delicious. better then the 25 bucks chicken rice at the mandarin hotel. perhaps it was my hungry stomach.. tts why.. but the sweet and sour chicken i ate was simply superb. $4 some more.. cheaper... i spend most of my money on coconuts though... tried some authentic pulau ubin coconut. tinge of sweetness.. but couldn't beat the thailand coconut though... a pity. was very tempted to buy 7 coconuts back, coz the sign read (buy 7 get 1 free) but i doubt i can carry by myself... but i was definitely veyr tempted to buy prawns back for my mum... (they sell fresh prawns on the island)

2005-03-23T08:46:00.000-08:00

i was suddenly reminded of this song.. tt i loved... from a memory so long ago...
passenger seat, death cab for the cuties> i rolled the window down, and then began to breathe... the darkest country road, and the strong scent of evergreen from the passenger seat, as you were driving me home... then, looking upwards, i strained my eyes and drive... to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites from the passenger seat, as you were driving me home... do they collide? i ask and you smile.... with my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter... when you feel embarrassed, i'll be your pride. when u need direction and i'd be the guide. for all times..... for all times.... <
it brings a bittersweet smile to my face... things tt u do for a living... things you have to make in life... *tired*

2005-03-23T00:55:00.000-08:00

dear beloved frens.. old ones and young ones... HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know i know.. the blog is rotting away..simply becoz, i've been so busy with school work, i dont' even have the free time to watch my animes (seee now u know why i've not watched naruto... but i've caught up, am at 125 now!), let alone to blog! =) for the past 2 weeks.. it's project work day in day out... and by the time night comes.. i'm so tired i conk out... seee, i dont' even have the leisure time to go shopping with the gers.. *miss ya so much u know, i'm always rushing off* feeel so bad... so once my term break starts..LET"S GO SHOPPING!!! OR HIGH TEA!!!!!!
well.... talking about whcih my term break i think i'm gonna fill it with activities like... 1. (believe u me, i'm gonna write 2 term paper on divorce and their effects on young children and another one on divorce and the family) on my own.. cuckoo rihgt... hahaha.. but i think it's fun... 2. teach tuition to earn money for mission trips. 3. go thailand or m'sia with the gers.. 4. errr.. still thinking.. =P weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ...
just had 3 presentations in 2 days. tiring.. but nevertheless i'm still alive..
tonight still have to go home to do some more work... life in school from 730 to 645 is a killer..
just for your info.. do u know tt... u need more sleep as u grow up? its not true tt infants need more sleep then us... and tt we can tahan 4 hours of sleep.. WRONG WRONG... all young adults are required to sleep at least 8 hours per day.. (i know army says 7 hours) but u need it to be awake and thins like tt.. depriving yourself of sleep would only make u have this thing called sleep debt (correct me if i'm wrong) and tt by sleeping a lot on one day and stretching your sleep throughout the entire week is not as good as sleeping 8 hours a day...
if u wanna know why i know such interesting things. take psych.. haha..
okieokie.. time to sign off for today.. shall fill this up more.. when i've the time.. hopefully some time tmr!

2005-02-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

dear friends if u're wondering why i don't seem to be visiting any of your blogs is becoz i think i kinda messed up the java codes.. so, canm't seem to load up the addresses... anyway, hope everyone has been doing fine. now, it's the peak period of smu.. got mid term exams, and projects.. before the mid term break tt is. i just realise the mid term break not much of a break. am in school like 1/4 of the week. then the rest i'm slogging it out in the library to finish up all my assignments. what ltb la, comms la, demo la.. and still must study on psych.. hiakz.. orh... something exciting to mention though i'm currently saving up to go japan for a trip. but it's gonna cost quite a bit 900 bucks air fare and stuff... becoz off peak mah... gee. kk better go study liao.. =)

2005-01-31T23:25:00.000-08:00

hamie hamie. i love hamie. it's the 2nd day after hamie arrived at my house. i like to see it when it sleeps, when it eats.. though, i do th a very lazy hamster. coz, when it eats, it lies down on its back, closes its eyes and eat. see so lazy no wonder so fat! hahah.. it's the feeling of when u wake up u look into the cage to see how hamie is doing. though, i know what my next hamster will be called. fluffos. =) ooh then tt day it was so cute. it was sleeping with its butt out of the house, so cute u know. hanging butt. hahhahahahaha... =P well more abt hammie updates!

2005-01-30T08:41:00.000-08:00

shamed, back turned against u oh lord. i've felt no greater guilt then this. i lost the strength in myself, always put on bold fronts which ate up my courage and made me tired. but u oh lord, loved me so much, u turned my head back to face u. i always longed to coem back to u lord, to your kingdom but i was afraid and frightened coz i've sinned greatly in your eyes. but today. lord, u let me see a vision so sweet tt it made my cold heart shattered apart and melt in your embracing love. i found the courage to reach out and touch your face. the face tt glows with such strong holiness. "jesus i believe in you". you lord, made me believe tt i could believe in you. tt lord, u're all i need. only u lord, can fill me up with a sudden surge of strength, courage, and hope. only u lord. u made me believe, u made me see. i was tired, lost, naked and cold. running on the busy streets, missing all the signs and so afraid. so very afraid. but u made me believe lord. tt i could, i could really be accepted in your love. have the faith tt all things are possible lord. what can i say lord. u made me believe, right through my heart, my soul.

2005-01-18T16:54:00.000-08:00

i'm tired!!! oh man, i hope i can endure to the end of the lesson. and hmmz, i think my laptrop would just die soon enough, 2 and a half hours. and i tot i need not bring the charger now i know.. i SHOULD.. i need entertainment to surive this end of the lesson. oh gee.... wake up i need to wake up!!!!!! grrrrrrr.... anyway, yuppz went to coca to eat my dinner yeterday with my parents. quite full. i'm serious but it's an expensive dinner.... really 225.25 bucks. imagine tt. ah. now for the lesson.. better listen...

2005-01-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

darlings! big one small one, guys and gers. all close friends of val.... =) erm erm erm... i'm 20 officially. since i'm already off the teenage list, i'm not going to deny my age, and embrace young adult hood with grace. and since, i've concluded i'm nvr going to be skinny, i'm also going to revamp my image to suit a more young adult dress sense. namely, i'm just going to get a pretty black dress or some halter top dress soon, coz i just realise, even though i can't wear spag, i think i can still pull off halters... so so so... anyway, birthday wish... (shhhhh.. cannot say, coz, if not won't come true) and, last but not least, to those who wished me happy birthday, or celebrated with me, or even suan me for having hit 20. I LOVE YOU GUYS! ANG GALS! AND ALL THE REST OF THE FOLKS!!!! hugs hugs hugs... cheers pple... things is justr going to start getting better.. and u'll definitely going to see a val who's just in for another game of fun... love ya lots!!!!

2005-01-14T19:50:00.000-08:00

the pains of trying to slim down. man. after tt pilates class (which is really really good... really... and it's not painful as kevin once told me. it's really enjoyable), which makes u stretch and stretch and the thing tt really u HAVE to do is to keep breathing in and tuck in your tummy. forever and ever. but i do honestly think it works and it pays to sweat it out trying to tuck in the tummy even though, after a heavy meal it hurts big time to do tt. why may u ask. simple. after pilates class on wed, and having consumed an entire dinner filled with twister fries and nuggets, i woke up on thursday with a relatively flatter tummy on thurs. then my instructor apparently made this really funny comment about me perspiring too much means i'm sucking in my tummy a lot a lot... so funny... anyway, bottomline is... if anyone wants to find a very interesting way to loose it all and has great determination to loose tt extra tummy. go for pilates!!! it's great..

2005-01-11T16:38:00.000-08:00

bad start of the day. i fell down in school, and scraped my knee even though, i was wearing jeans. hmmmz.. in school. yuppz. in school. and tt was how it went. currently, it's still hurting a little. like stinging pain. but it should be fine. maybe, the blood is trying to get through the thin layer of skn. that's why it's stinging a little. imagine all the blood particles trying to come out. tts the feeling man. tts the feeling. haha.. a bit sadistiv. alright, time for lesson now... hmmz... and i'm sitting all alone. how romantic. is today a bad dar or something? i would not like to think so. but oh well.. we'll see how it goes. shoot the knee man..

2005-01-09T23:49:00.000-08:00

and of coz.. there's another thing about, the shop. decided on what i'll invest in. products of asia.. like, bold jewellery, bold stuff. actually. since i'm a person who likes things loud but sleek. but that's really a do or die situation. coz, i know tt singaporeans do not exactly fancy bold things. esp in terms of jewellery. they tend to go for things like, smaller pieces. refine works/ tts why there's this store called fie japan. which in my mind, is doing relatively well. becoz they deal with fine jewellery from japan. and u know how japan things are. sleek, small, refine, and high quality. but u see, don't get me wrong. i do like, quality in things too. but i like them bold. uniquely bold jewellery is my cup of tea. coz, the small minuet ones seems a little mundane sometimes.. but i think my sister loves those more then me... on the other hand, i'm also starting up a trio business with mayann and felly. tt one, is seriously for hobby.. first i think it's great to start something with fantastic girlfriends. they have keen eyes for makeup and hair styles. actually for both of those, i think they're more daring then me. in a sense they dare to explore boldness. whereas i opt for a more, hush hush style for makeup tt is, u see, i like to put this pink-ish sheen eye-shadow becoz it looks natural and at the same time, can't go wrong. but i do hope tt in time to come i'll be able to do those bolder make-up, but not to the cleopatra extend of coz. but more like, smokey effect. or perhaps at least play around with blue-ish eye shadow. which i couldn't do for many many months already. so tt's for the plans. =)

2005-01-09T23:40:00.000-08:00

next up! about my loosing weight programme. > not exactly very successful. since, i've a sweet tooth. currently snacking on a mini snicker bar. but other then that. one small bar is good enough of a treat for today. but judging tt i don't have enough money to eat for the week. i think probably i'll diet some way right? =) hee hee... then on wed there's pilates... yea!!!!

2005-01-09T23:35:00.000-08:00

ah... today, there's quite a lot to blog about. so i shall just split it into different sections. 1st up! i've embarked on my first cooking lesson! > macaroni with chicken< final verdict. (a) chicken is a little over cooked. (b) macaroni is a little under cooked (c) the broth is a little to msg-fied. coz i put knows' chicken stock. a little too much also. there's room for improvement definitely. and can u believe it? i took 1.5 hours to do and prepare and cook. yuppz yuppz yuppz. u heard me right. next up lesson! >fried rice with prawns and sausages< *rubs fingers* maybe i'll try to do tt sometime next week or on thursday see how. it helps to destress u know... and maybe through time i'll prove myself to be quite a cook too! though, i think baking brownies are so much easier....

2005-01-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

quick! congratualate me. I MADE IT!!!!! i CLEARED all my debts tt i owe my sister! the last remaning 170 bucks i paid it all off just not too long ago! WEEEEE!!!! though, the current week outlook is a miserable 12 + 11 + 1.50 = 24.50. u think a lot? think again. 13.50 is for my transportation for the current week. then, the remaining 11 bucks is then for eating. okie la, actually i do think i can make it through. mon> at home, the whole day so no expenses. tues> go school, at most lunch costs only save save 3 bucks. so left 8 bucks. then come wed. still 3 bucks. so left 5 bucks. then, leave all of tt to friday to use. or i can don't even use it. just pack sanwhich to school to save money. then come sat. *scratch head* no money. or i could just get an o.d from my dad. (which is called overdraft) so on sun i recieve lesser pocket money. all i need to do is just to get through the weekdays. weekends can bother about itself. and whats more. i still have 20.20 + 10.20 in credit tt i could collect it on sunday. yippee! =)

2005-01-08T07:13:00.000-08:00

ah dear folks! =) have been so tired. and it's just first week of school. u know, there's this really interesting fact about smu pple tt i found out. surveyed the pple around me, asking how was their first week of school. top poll answer would be "tired". and seriously, it's a rather draining week for me already. on tuesday, it was a full school day of 830 - 645. absolutely tiring. quote dom's words: "it's sucks the life out of u." or was it "it devitalize u" but honestly, both works the same. this term i'm geared for a heavy term. with first lesson leadership & teambuilding (ltb) where we in groups have to do a cip project. from scratch. not tt i'm unfamiliar with such projects. but, it's more of a matter of. it's so tedious. do-able definitely. and it's bound to be fun. but time-consuming, but still fun. and the teacher is quite easy-going too.. and very candid indeed. haha... then comes the ultra ultra ultra heavy subject called tech and world change. u know, it's a bit like putting geog + history + science in it and churn it u get? tech and world change. with call it twc. honestly, at 330 where my brain goes into hibernation. in order to score. must really MUG. alas. come wed. at 830 again, i've something called communication. i think this class resembles english class so nothing much to say about it also. then the following classes are 2 very important classes which are demo and psych. both which i'm giving my utmost effort. esp psych. tt one must chiong. soon enough, i'll be carrying a psych book to study everywhere.. hahah... end up on friday afternoon was so ultra stress went for high tea with dom. ate chocolate ice-cream and cake. superb way of destressing. then still feeling ultra stress. on friday night, went for ac campfire with willy, terence, shan, wern, lmr and rui. i think i was the crazy one la. coz i made everyone wear ac t-shirt. then rui was commenting tt i look like some school kid tt expired. and then end the night with a drive to seletar camp coz dear lmr left his pager in camp. was a toturous ride, coz the gers were squashed. haha... anyway, ended the night with a round of lord of the ring risk. was really exciting. with terence and willy pairing up as evil team and rui and i as elves i think. whatever it was, it was an interesting round of risk. haha.. =) yuppz.. with tt. my first week of school has ended... time for some beauty sleep and pray hard next week i'll get into the drive of studying.. =)

2005-01-01T08:39:00.000-08:00

lost in reading all the school mails. once again. a new year has arrived. so many things to be done. so little time. sounds familiar huh. well... i hope that this year would start on a proper footing. now at least, i know where i am heading towards. am going to touch on psychology this term and i hpoe that i'll take home with me more then the books can teach me. *looks at own room* so messy still. going to squeeze a little bit of time to pack up a bit of my room. anyway. just did some financial accounts.. cross finger, if i don't take public transport, but walk to school (which is madness) don't eat in school, nor anyway else except home. i'll be able to clear my debts by my brirthday (which is 18th jan) u see, coz i dont' wanna spend a birthday week not being able to go anywhere coz i'm broke. makes no sense. so, in view of that, i'm praying that god will provide for me for the next 2 weeks. which he has been so gracious about for the past 2 days! power! lemme share with you about it... on thursday, after i declared myself in debt for 1 month, and not being able to eat food. in the night time, by grace of god. i ate at crsytal jade (la mian) yuppz... then on friday afternoon. crystal jade again (yupp zyuppz... some dim sum) then friday night, i ate at thai express! yuppz yuppz... and today, which is sat, my parents bought me lunch. and my sister treated me to pizza hut and kfc for dinner! =) see god provides! i won't say i come from a super poor family. but my own personal financial status is quite bad. i'm just waiting for some money to come back so i can help pay my debts.. =) but seriously, god provides!

2004-12-29T22:59:00.000-08:00

u know, after having heard the jazz band played last sat, or was it last fri. i think it was last fri. yuppz. my interests in percussion has relit again. though, i think i'm really out of touch totally. and i'm apprehensive when it comes to playing the drums, since, some how i lack a lot of practice. but as my senior once told me. once a percussionist, always a percussionist. in the new year ahead, i plan to do the following things.
1. time management, dont' wanna be labelled as the always late one.
2. pick up pilates, to heal some old injuries
3. loose some tummy, for beauty and health sake. though health comes first. becoz, going around with a backache half the time is really painful. maybe loosing say 1 kg is good. or 2 kg for that matter.
4. relearn my percussion roots. and hopefully by some time in 2006 or 2007, i'll own some pieces myself. first which is the shaker! u've no idea, how long i've been dreaming to own my personal shaker. not the egg shape one which is selling less then 5 bucks for each. but the real good one that i think cost about more then 20 less then 50 for one?
5. save up to buy a portable synthesizes, to grow in terms of my serving in keyboard. so at least, when i need it some day some where, i've my own and no need to rely on the ones given in church.
6. continue to be exposed to the art of photography. next up, black and white film!
7. continue to be exposed to jazz and blues and all sorts of music. =)
let's be realistic, 7 goals are enough to keep me busy for some time. though, the 6th and 7th one is on-going but the rest is like, hmmmmz.... the first 3 is gonna be a tougher though. anyway, i'm currently planning on starting some business maybe in my twenties or something. coz, life is so mundane. so whilst i crack my brain on my long term goals for business, short term goals are good enough to keep me going.
also, i know i've yet to continue talking about the tsunamis...

2004-12-27T22:25:00.000-08:00

u know, many a times. we take things for granted. was watching about the news on the tsunamis tt day at the airport and made me wonder a bit about how many a times, we do no foresee things coming. i wonder, being in singapore, being a "safe" country, with a fantastic government system which i'm rather thankful of. and the only danger tt lurks is possibility of terrorism and another tragedy which may occur is probably yet another "nicoll highway collaspe replay" or "new world hotel reply" or maybe yet another "missing person". but seriously, we as singaporeans should feel really blessed. we have no natural disaster occuring, and we have a non-corrupted government, we have superb education, and the only killing factor might just be stress and tt's it. so i was thinking about this question, after joshua 21 and even just being on the verge of turning 20 and even as 2005 is coming. "why are we here?" "what on earth is our purpose being in singapore?" even as we were once a third world country. how rapidly we actually have grown . u know what is the funny thing about singaporeans? okay, i admit i also have been there done tt. but, the funny thing about singaporean kids, in particular is tt our lives revolve around one thing. "school work". yes i know tt this is very important coz we are suppose to have a good future if we study hard. and we need educated pple to help boost our economy. but the thing is. why are we only so concern about education tt we often take for granted other things in life? and why have we all become so self centred in our own worlds tt we do not very often think of how when we are being so stressed by work, some other less fortunate kids in some poverty striken country is thinking about how to fill his or her tummy for the day? i'm not trying to say tt education is bad. i'm actually an advocate tt we need to study to the best of our capabilities. but the thing is, we should not take for granted things in our livelihoods. even a short 30 min mrt ride is something to be thankful of. think about traffic in bangkok and compare it. or let's say our 5% gst, for tt think of in new zealand where i do believe the taxes are like 25% or so? or even drinking water. though, i do believe tt one day we may have some national tragedy becoz of tt. *choy choy* but we cannot take drinking water for granted. even though i do remember the worst water i've taste in singapore was the water cooler water in ny, where it just plainly tastes lkike medicine. i just feel that above all of these, we all should feel really blessed and tt we should, becoz of how much we're given, give to others. alright, i shall continue about this in a short whilst, whilst i go for my drama practice and ponder more about lives around us.

2004-12-22T07:12:00.000-08:00

"haven't blogged this in ages sia... anyway, currently now suffering from backahces due to the endless baking of brownies... i feel so oily and sticky... but i smell of brownies tts for sure.. anyway, it's like into the 8th hour baking this stupid browniesl.... okie i won't say it's stupid... but it's just a little slow in baking... hmmmz... it's like, a small pan of 4 takes like what 30 min to bake and the big one of 8 takes approx 1.5 hours to bake.... yuppz.. u heard me... tts why i've taken approx from 2 pm to 530 pm which is 3.5 hours. and from 8 pm to now 11 pm which is another 3 hours. so in total 6.5 hours already... and also i think i need yet another 1.5 hours to finish up.. so means in total 8 hours or even more... but u know whats the thing? tmr.. i'm going to mango sale.. so means i'll be dead tired.. nvr mind shall take a nap tmr instead.. =) hee hee... anyway, yuppz.. tts what i've to say currently.. now i think i should take a bath or something after i finish mixing my final box of brownies mix... hee hee"

2004-12-08T08:06:00.000-08:00

watched national treasure with bing, min and gan... =) it's quite a nice show you know... like, it was a show tt would captivate you from start till end. though, i was coughing throughout the show. the ljs too heaty sia... anyway.. decided to prevent from eating heaty food for the next 2 weeks or so.. u know why?? i think my body temp is rising. becoz 2 days ago. my back exploded with ugly pimples. i also don't know why. they just occured. like a bad rash. but on closer look it resembles pimples.. freaks out. .. and i need to wear a tube dress this friday!!!! ARGH... what timing.. =( .. looks liek my guardian angel is on strike.. not doing the job properly...

2004-12-02T01:28:00.000-08:00

2300 yea. it's over. a sweet ending. with lots of wonderful food thrown in. haha... anyway, i'm free!!!!! 2320 - went walking down orchard road with my ny friends. we went ga ga literally. then at 0100 i went back to the hotel room only to be greeted by big stash of money sitting on the floor. stun the bowl of fruits at the lift lobby and had fresh fruits to eat for the night. funny... talked till 0200 till i decided i was tired. and i had no place to stay so i went home. 0300 conked out ...

2004-12-02T01:22:00.000-08:00

1900 - every one is dressed except the bride. my goodness. and she's still jumping around with make up and casual clothes. my ac friends are here. *hugs* they were in town, and they heard it was my jie's wedding they all popped by. invited them for cocktail but they all said they felt underdressed for the occasion. hmmmmz. 1945 my ny friends and church friends are here!!! yea... *hugs too* started talking about interesting stuff. got mistaken for the bride. hmmmz.... 2000 dinner about to start. i start looking for jie. 2030 ready set go!!! dinner is almost beginning. my jie is at the door. everyone watched a montage on my jie and jie fu. very funny. everyone started laughing when they showed my jie's photo. u know why?? SHE LOOKED THE SAME WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG AND NOW. seriously. once u see her baby photo u'll say. oh tts victoria. and then they laughed again at a photo of my daddy and jie. why?? they were both looking at something. on the right. funny photo. candid i'll say. 2045 doors open. my cousins walked in. pple would probably think how come they strunk in size. hmmmmmz...... then my jie and jie fu stepped in. ah.... radiance of a bride. 2050 1st dish! cold dish! not exactly my fav type since it's erm.... jelly fish??? tell you about the menu of the day. 1st dish - cold dish. 2nd dish - is sharks fin... yum yum... 3rd dish - is fried scallop in yam and a ball of i don't know what. 4th dish - abalone. everyone gets 2 individual abalone. of different kind. lovely. 5th dish - chicken. this is seriously nice u know.... it's the restaurant's trade mark. 6th dish - FISH!!! GLORIOUS FISH!!!!!!!! as u can tell i love eating fish. esp those steam fish tt doesn't have fishy taste or smell.. i love sea bass esp. yum yum. but i don't knwo what fish is this. a bit hard. but who cares. it's fish. 7th dish - hmmmmz.. *thinks* i think it's ee-fu noodles. *pats tummy* full.... 8th dish - melting hearts. aka hagen daiz ice cream shaped like a cake. yuppz yuppz.. very delicious ain't it??? anyway, back to the time scehdule. got a bit taken away by the food menu. 2100 something is very wrong with my table. everyone seems so stern and stone. lost track of time. but this is what happened between 2100 to 2300 got up after 1st dish, to help my jie change into her evening gown. she left me behind and i had to run after her in high heeled slip in. and i walked not very glamorously, for my shoe kept falling off. the strap is too loose! and what horrendoursly many crystal buttons my jie's gown had. bridal veil's trade mark. geee.... anyway, came back down to gulp down the 2nd dish, and 3rd dish and 4th dish. in the midst i talked with my friendsand teased each other.. and for the second walk in. they played a videograph of the morning's affair. very funny it began like this. *once there was a princess* then shots of my jie, *who was waiting for her prince charming* then shots of my little cousin. i don't know why. but then, shots of my jie fu. *but then, there was the evil step sisters* then shots of the jie mei's. we've been demoted to being evil. then shots of the food. bla bla. *but then, all they wanted was...... * then they showed my cousin holding up a 10 buck crisps note. very funnnnny... and then, they showed. the tea ceremony at both sides. an endless affair, * words of wisdom* then their colleagues retold of how they both met. and told about how one guy received a mushy email from my jie accidentally which was supposedly to be sent to charlie kor kor. (which my jie to this date scold me about. coz, apparently tt time when she sent it i was irritating her by asking her to quickly use the net and then i needed to use it. so click... and she sent to the wrong guy during the rush) but all well ends well... they both wed. maybe i did help in the progress coz, i think it became an open secret. hahahahahahahhahaha... ah back to the video *and they did live happily ever after* (prior to tt shot, they showed my cousin. being very speechless... ) ah anway, and then had to rush back up to help my jie outta the evening gown and into the kwa. so red hor. the kwa. and we both had to change in the storeroom near the kitchen. and eveytime my jie changed into a gown, i changed my sash. so from a brown sash with flower. to a black demonte ( i liked tt one very very much) to a choc brown coarse grain ribbon. and a flower. back to the kwa. she had less then 5 min to change. and with tt the desert was served. ooh.. i had my double serving, coz being at the vip table meant tt i get to eat double share!!! =)

2004-12-02T00:57:00.000-08:00

27th November 2004 sister's wedding. 0700 - wakey wakey. my jie's already done with her make up and hair. and i just dragged myself out of bed to bathe and wash up. 0715 - rush to get dressed. and make up to be done. hmmz, not good. lighting is very bad. but still managed to pull something off. 0745- very hungry. made my cousin wake up to get dressed. 0800 - most of the jie mei's are here already. but then, dear sister me still struggling to get the room tidy. cousin is finally dressed. 0805 - oh my, the groom is here too early!!!! jie mei's have made all the "sabo" ready already. cousin goes down to give the xiong di's the letter of challenge. CHALLENGE to climb 19 stories, and on the way up, carry bottles of drink and whatever they can find left lying on the corridor. (they stunned a poor kid's bicycle too). 0815 - why on earth are they upstairs and outside my door?? too fast!!! the xiong di's haggle price. (my sister is not a typical bride. she jumps and hops and joins in the haggling price fun. wearing shoes in the house. the only day where she gets away with wearing shoes in the house.) 0830 - price not fixed. but we received 2 credit cards already. the jie mei's threaten to use both to go online shopping at tiffany's. my mummy soft hearted wants to let the pple in. 0830 - price settled. i rush into the room. and my jie eagerly awaits the mmt. / outside, the xiong di's were forced to eat 2 whole loaves of bread spread with wasibi and peanut butter and strawberry jam. and were made to glup down strawberry drink and banana milk and honeydew milk. my jie fu seems happy. the xiong di seems horrified. jie fu made to make a strawberry heartshaped bread for my sister. my mummy became soft hearted, gave my jie fu the keys to the room. 0845 - off we go to the aunt's place. too early... too early... one of the jie mei's had a minor car incident. 0850 - reach the aun't's place and shuffled up to the room to wait. 0930 - still waiting. 1000 - still waiting. 1030 - finally. tea ceremony. got bitten by a lot of mosqi. and a cousin who keeps jumping up and down the sofa. 1100 - photo taking. 1130 - more photo taking. 1200 - finally!!! home at last. tea ceremony 2. had to serve tea to my jie too... =) 1300 - lunch... starving.... 1330 - more photo taking??? whats with photo taking??? 1400 - off to esplanade!!!! for?!?!?!? MORE PHOTOTAKING... hahahahhaa.... the sky was blue. beautiful. i was pespiring like shit. bought strawberry coated with choc to eat. lovely. =) my heels are already killing me. some one quick carry me. dying away only. 1500 - off to marriot we go!!!! 1515 - reach liao. SHAGGED.... 1530 - finally got the key to the suite. 2016. nice floor. and oh there's a plate of fruits outside. the room is huge. with a little pagoda tray tts filled with choc, cake, and fruits. we just munched away. leg is very shag, and why does my dress keep slipping down??? 1600 - chillling.............. now i've a big problem. how am i to go down to buy something to eat when i only have a pair of high heels and a lilac dress tt's fit for a dinner occasion??? my jie changed into casual clothes and outta her make up. 1615 - wore a black pull over. the esprit one. with the flower, and my sister's gold slip in. ready to go!!!! 1630 made to go 7 -eleven to buy stuff. wore my sister's lilac harvanas. looked like a fashion disaster. there's no one other day where u'll spot val wearing lilac dress with a black pull over. and lilac havanas. 1645 no face left liao la... got back to marriot. shagged. oh my room key is here. 1815 finally! slept on the comfy bed. 1730 phone rang. time for my make up. rush upstairs. parents not here yet. how i change into my dress??? 1800 plopped onto the chair and let the make up artist do her job. told her to do a messy bun for me. 1830 finally done. changed into my dress. my sister looks like some princess with all the sparkles on her skin and hair. the make up artist must have put like an entire bottle of glitter on her. gee. but she looks pretty. even though she WAS still in casual clothes. my jie went down with full make up, and casual clothes to meet my jie fu. not very glamorous.

2004-11-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

ah. less then 5 more hours. to the big day! it's pouring outside, hopefully everything will clear tmr.. =) well.. if you're thinking what's the big deal.. lemme tell ya.... my jie's getting hitched today! 27th nov 2004. yuppz... =) hope everything turns out fine!!! time to sleep...

2004-11-25T06:49:00.000-08:00

i've watched the sunrise in your eyes. i've seen the tears fall like the rain. u've seen me fight so brave and strong. u've held my hand when i'm afraid. we've watched the seasons come and go. we'll see them come and go again. but in winter's chilll and summer breeze. one thing will not be changing. we will dance, when the sun is shining in the pouring rain. we'll spin and we'll sway. and we will dance when the gentle breeze becomes a hurricane. the music will play and i'll take your hand and hold you close to me. and we will dance. sometimes it's hard to hold you tight. sometimes we feel so far apart. sometimes we dance as one. and feel the beating of each other's heart. some days the dance is slow and sweet. some days we're bouncing off the walls. but no matter how this world may turn/ our love will keep us fromfalling and.... the music will play. and i'll hold you close and i won't let you go. even when our steps grow weak and slow. still i'll take your hand and hold you close to me. and we will dance.

2004-11-25T03:11:00.000-08:00

guess what?? I SAW JEANNETTE TODAY!!!!! jeannette kwek shu zhen. yes.. after 3 or was it 4 yrs after she "disappeared" to canada. she's back! and i met her in a very funny way. i was in holland today, to do up all my garang stuff (tell more later), then i happily walking with my jie after lunch. then, suddenly a car stop by the road and my jie was like "ehz, your fren ah" i was like, huh huh huh what?? then i look at her. left, right, centre. at tt point i couldn't recognise her lor.... coz she now have long hair. looked a bit different with long hair u see... so i was like, "huh" still until *ting!* JEANNETTE!!!! tts what i shouted. so funny.... i still remember tt time when she left for canada, i was like, huh u going off ah.. and before i knew it she left. then i happily lost her email add.. and so did she. so we didn't contact till today! and the amazing thing is, i kept telling myself, one fine day, by God's will, i will meet her one.. some how and today is tt day!!!!!! really fantastic surprise lor.... still in shock actually... she's back in singapore doing NUS business 3rd year. ya, tt ger ah. happily go canada study 2 years come back 3rd year business student... when everyone still fresh grad... haha.. but i thank god tt i did her meet her again, coz she's really a great person and i can say tt she is one of my good fren. one fren whom i'm going to keep whether she likes it or not... haha kidd'... but yah, she's great really.... anywya, talking about my holland trip today. went for manicure, petticure, and some waxing. interesting.

2004-11-22T07:55:00.000-08:00

these few days, or rather past few weeks, i've been thinking. thinking. thinking. thinking. sentimental thoughts come knocking its way through the window panes at night. i was not a teary person to begin with. was always brave, nvr really shed tears one. but then, one fine day. some one showed me the way through life, the meaning of true joy. the ice walls of my heart just melt away with every single precious gesture of love and sincerity. and till now, every single show tt's all about love, hope and joy. i cry. i tear. not becoz it's a lovey-dovey show. but, tt i've let go of such a beautiful person in my life, tt person who shares your laughter the way u like it to be. tt somehow, i've lost a very important part of me. lost tt loving feeling u know what i mean? tts such a saying tt u do not know the value of something till u lose it. tts why paintings by da vinci shoots up after he died. had been really hyper throughout the starting of this week. needed it, to just cheer pple around me. and also to cheer myself up. as much as my heart is still not quite there, physically and emotionally, life still has to go on. no wonder there are countless of heart wrenching shows out there. it's for real. the night ends with croonings of the like of de-lovely on my comp. for those in love, stay in love.

2004-11-22T07:46:00.000-08:00

what's this thing called love? - lemar, de-lovely. i was a hum-drum person. leading a life apart. when love flew in through my window wide. and quickened my humdrum heart. love flew in through my window, i was so happy then. but after love had stayed a little while, love flew out again. what is this thing, called love? this funny thing, called love. just who can solve its mystery? why should it make as fool of me? i saw you then, one wonderful day. u took my heart and threw it away. that's why i asked the lord in heaven above. what is thing called love? what is this thing called love? this funny thing, called love. just who can solve its mystery. why shoudl it make a fool of me? i saw you then one wonderful day. u took my heart and threw it away. tts why i asked the lord, in heaven above. what is this thing, called love?.

2004-11-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

it's november the 22nd. such a significant date. and only a few knows why. wedding bells are ringing. and love is in the end. think when my jie really gets married on sat, i think i'll be all teary and stuff. esp with her wedding theme song. which i shall keep it as a secret if not spoil the niceness. but the song is definitely one tt'll reduce my mum to tears, and perhaps i as well. within this 6 years, i'll wait patiently for the guy whom god would match me with, who will spend the rest of his life with mine. this world. filled with so much spectacular things. sunset, sunrise. hope. love. and whoever s reading this, i wish for you tt in His very own special timing, experience this beautiful thing called love. i once did, and it was wonderful. =)

2004-11-18T07:45:00.000-08:00

sitting in my room. with a relatively irritating painful spot on my butt. yesh, tt abcess thingy is back. shall go see the doc soon. irritating. coz it means tt i'm back on track with medication. *gasp* hopefully during which i do not get sting by any mosqi. *fear some weird rash would come ack again* or should i just go for it after my jie's wedding. but the pain is just growing ever so strong. oh my oh my. oh, bing bing called me today!! so happy... was crapping on the phone for i think more then an hour. about what? i can't remember. but tts not the point. felt so nice talking to her, and she's coming back soon! on the 22th! can't wait can't wait! what else. oh, i don't know why , but i've been so tired since my run yesterday. this morning i woke up, my entire mental mind, wasn't up to it yet. at 9 pm, i almost conked out at the hawker centre over dinner. too tired already. then now, it's 11.39 which means soon i'm popping back into my bed for a good rest. after i watch samurai champloo of coz... tmr is my last class of the year, and it's my last presentation of the year. so fun!!!! =) today, i had my sociology project presentaion. so FUN! coz, we had a skit and we told our findings blah blah through it. which is really interesting. i acted as the mother. *not tt i look like one* just tt acting this kinda 38 roles is fun. haha.. anyway, the wedding preparations, are midsway. *GASP* i don't have a proper outfit for the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sadden... it's like, oh my left one more week. how to hunt for THE nice dress tt i'll remember for the rest of my life tt is "my jie's wedding" you know what i mean. anyway, time for samurai champloo.l and it's bed time for me... =)

2004-11-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

back from my run. feel so good. so very good. though, today i think i must have ran a little faster then usual, coz my thighs were aching as i was running back from the mrt station. the funny thing is, during my run today, i met a lot of pple. not pple tt i know, but pple on the streets, passersby basically. more then any usual day. how interesting. (now tt was yesterday's blog. was so tired, i dind't even click publish)

2004-11-17T05:28:00.000-08:00

the power of love. all around me all couples sia. and u know the thing about having bf's in uni is he'll send u around. to school, back home. blah blah. oh and there was this "couple-to-be" were flirting in front of me. man... feels like watching drama you know. and a very "live" one. oh till the day i'm attached to some one who can drive. hahaha... anyway, tts not the point. am eating something really gross to the core. OIL-y food. coz it's the only food left at night of 9 pm in SMU. hmmmz... and i'm feeling so bloated with oil tt it's such a huge turn off. i'm definitely gonna go running later. u know, i've no idea why, but my heart has been "trembling" for today. it's like vibrating. and quite frequent too. hmmz... hope it's nothing serious maybe artery blockage. hahahha... oh well.. anyway, i think i've fallen for running. it feels good. is good. it's like, it makes you feel like, u're in your own world, and tt all you wanna do is move the legs. i wonder how much should i run today. oh tts it i cannot finish the fish liao. too OILY. Shiver... sigh.. now have to go home myself, coz my daddy is not exactly done. so, yuppz yuppz.. oh man, the oil is definitely not mixing well with my tummy. oh no oh no.....

2004-11-16T23:30:00.000-08:00

deprived. repeat after me. deprived. it's 1 am. into my 3rd question. spent one hour trying to understand how to input formulas on excel (i'm slow). now it's 2.34 am. really tired. am into my 5th question. i gave up on the 3rd question. can't seem to think straight for it. so just move on and cover the rest and hopefully tmr i can think straight enough to answer it. guess it's gonna be yet another day of sleeping in. it's 3.45 am. i cannot take it anymore. going to la la land now... finsihing it up tmr instead... gee.. anyway, i feel ultra guilty today. coz today really no energy left to do my daily sit ups and squats bla bla.. i hope tmr i've the time for a little night run and my daily routine. u know, i was joking with bing and gan just now about affair with running. and how i've fallen in love with running. and we started talking abotu flings, one night stands with tennis, and running. though i think they resented the idea of running. and then we started talking about badminton and how we had flings behind badminton's back. qute hilarious. but still, i'm faithful to running. he's so good to me u know.. wahhaha. *signs of stress*

2004-11-16T05:44:00.000-08:00

*rubs tummy* sense of satisfaction. tonight dinner was a little too little. but otherwise as delicious like always.. =) now, sitting at the dinning table. though the lights can really kill my eyesight. but nvr mind. oh. u know, since i'm getting so ever bored everyday. i shall blog surf. attempt to tag one person every other day. in view tt i won't lose touch of the world out there. i'm so gonna work it out the night lor. today must finish my stats assigment, i've 8 qns. but i'm at qns 1~! and i'm so tired. eyes super painful today. wah!

2004-11-16T02:19:00.000-08:00

sitting in school, waiting for my daddy to pick me up. can't be help. i truly feel very lazy to walk down the super long slope. when i go home, there are so many things to complete. my STATS assignment for starters.. oh god. and there's this sociology project tt i need to write up on. which i'll do it once i'm finished blogging now. darn, i think i got bitten by a mosqi. ever since my allergy rash, i'm paranoid by insects bite. argh! so afraid something bad would happen like another bout of rash allergy maybe? oh you know, i'm happy about one thing about SMU though.. they have FINALLY FINALLY implemented a rule about smoking on campus. tt now pple are banned from smoking indoors (the campuse buildings bla bla) in view of the recent reports tt they have found tt smoking brings about worse harm then imagine. oh man u've no idea how delighted i am to know tt this rule is being implemented. no more days where i'm going home stinking of the cigarette smell... alright.. think i should spend the next few minutes wisely. at least finish up a bit on sociology project. =)

2004-11-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

in approximately less then 2 hours i would be sitting my sociology exam. unfortunately, i'm not exactly done with my studying which means. things ain't looking good. and i'm stressed and like, argh!!! you know what i mean, don't exactly feel like starting with this studying shit. but i'm looking forward to after the test where i can get a breather, start my maths homework. okie, i think i better start studying the remaining 4 BIG chapters...

2004-11-10T19:37:00.000-08:00

holiday holiday!! 2 days more to my sociology exam and i'm still stuck at my first chapter, "education" not looking good not looking good! i look at the calendar ahead for the next 2 weeks, it's seriously very tight. like, on top of the soc project, CT proj (which is darn fun) and my 2 other exams, which is STATS (oh my goodness!!!!) and AS... hmmz, i still have to shop for my shoe for my sis's wedding. and what on earth am i gonna wear in the morning? and the endless routines of beautifying. what, got manicure, petticure, waxing, eyebrow trimming, err *thinks* endless gown fittings. and hair cut. gee. thankfully this comes only like once in a lifetime or something. anyway, i went shopping with my jie yesterday. bought my 2 clutches, one pearly pink (which is really pure sweetie pie look) tt one will go with my pinky shoe (which is sweetie pie look too) now tt's for the morning, and one glittery silver (it's classic look) for the evening. i've got my gown for the evening, which is a cream based colour. but i've no idea what am i gonna wear for the morning. coz i don't seem to have one decent enough clothes to match the clutch or shoe. hmmmmmmz. anyway, i've been on this exercise regime tt seems to be working. like, i'm doing sit-ups (not a lot also), squats and push-ups. daily. and i run at least 2 times a week, coz i dont' have much time to run. and it seems to be working. like subtly, but still visible enough for me to notice. *yawn* i think i better get started with my work. if not i doubt i can finish on time.

2004-11-08T23:58:00.000-08:00

faith. =) tts what they called it. it was pouring today. cats and dogs and everything else. was on my way home today from school. and the sky looked threatening. and after i got on the bus, the flood gates really opened. it was raining so badly everything looked really blurred. u see, i was really worried, coz, i had no umbrella. but i kept going, have faith. must have faith. bla bla. so i just sat in the bus, just looking at the rain and said God will make the weather nice for me to walk. faith faith faith. christian right? faith faith faith. and amen! he heard my prayers coz, when i reached back, it stopped pouring totally. only slight drizzle. nice weather to walk in somemore. so thank God! =)

2004-11-07T21:11:00.000-08:00

on sat, i went to watch de-lovely with lmr... it's such a delightful show! i mean, it's a show tt can make u all fuzzy wazzy inside. to me it was like a master piece. first, it's in the musical genre (which is something i'm totally into); then, the english they spoke was really high class, i doubt tt they used the same bombastic word twice in the entire 2 hours; in addition, the jokes they said were cleverly constructed and they were darn right sacarstic with a tinge of class. easy enough to understand the subtle meaning but it had enough humour to make it laughable. oh, seriously, if you're over 18 yrs of age. love musicals, and a classic story. de-lovely is something u should catch. if you're wondering why it's mc(18), since it didn't have violence or what, neither did it have any sexual scenes (come on, there was only err, 3 bed scenes at most. none were explicit). the only thing tt made it mc(18) was tt the main character was gay, no bi. tts was it. anyway, i doubt tt if you were any younger you would actually appreciate the nonsense and flirty stints. well, you see the story is as simple as this. cole is gay, almost all the way. no bi, i must say. coz, you see this guy (btw, real story) he never believed tt one kind of love is enough. so he indulges himself in pretty boys (and they are truly pretty boys. good enough to eat kinda). sleeps with them. fool around with them. he had this boyfriend in venice, and you could tell tt he was truly so "in touch" with him. but in a funny way. the thing is, this cole guy, is well known for having bfs it was like an open secret. cole was also a well known song writer for musicals and all tt nonsense. however, he met this ger called linda. supposedly the prettiest divorcee around. with glamour and poise. he fell in love with her. but the story doens't end there. linda knows tt cole is infamous for his er-er unlawful ways. but weirdly, they got married. now, i think this linda person is really totally in love with cole. nvr once did she raise her voice at him. always ready to splurge expensive wine, and cigarettes on cole. (i think she is ultra rich too) and she had all this links with hollywood, to start off cole's hollywood career. she just knew too many pple. but she said one thing tt was ultra touching to cole, at one point in time. "i nvr wanted you to change." also, "i nvr did expect you to love me the way i do. i just wanted to love you" change his ways around guys tt is. she knew he was gay all the way their she died. and even prior to her death, she found yet another pretty boy to spend the rest of his life with cole. (yes you've heard it right. she hooked him up with another guy. talking about open infidelity) but it was after her death tt i think this cole guy changed his ways. he shooed this guy off, he lost his leg. basically at the end of the 2 hour story, i could sense tt he really loved her. like really really loved her. so it was so tt the ger beside me in the cinema was crying. i was teary too.. it was just such a love affair to a different extreme.
anyway, the night ended with both of us, meeting up with our fellow friends at kent ridge park. i was singing away to the tune of "let's do it" in the car, and in the other car the 4 of them were talking about something which i couldn't really comprehend. i think i was in an awfully danc-y mood tt's all. but well, bottomline, it was really a good show. and the newspaper gave it the correct rating of 5 stars. i'm happy i didn't miss it tts all.... =)

2004-11-05T08:52:00.000-08:00

it's a friday once more... feeling sleepy already... *breathes fresh air* hmmz... next week is gonna be one busy week to study study study soc... then, i must spend lots of time doing my stats. goodness.. my maths is super lousy now... haha... *embarrassed* haha.. oh well.. i shall attempt to spend one lovely morning with my parents... i think my mum wants to go market or something. and i promised my dad if i can wake up i go eat breakfast with him.. haha... kk shall sleep early

2004-11-03T08:17:00.000-08:00

Superficial happiness. In life, what is true happiness? Can i say tt i'm truly happy with what i am today? I taking my evening walk back from the bus stop today. And i asked myself. Am i truly happy with what i am now. I know deep down tt i once was happy. But, am i still happy? I've lost what was once known as innocent love. Everything now, always has a value attached to it. Then i looked at my surroundings. the serendity. the couple walking beside me. i wondered. are they truly in love. or is it becoz they just had to be together. superficiality vs. truth. when is laughing a true blue laugh. when it is just to entertain? superficiality society taught us to be. vainity, the pursuit of slimness. what is it all for? for the so called beauty? for the so called confidence? to look good? to be complimented on? i'm worried about not being slim, i've always tot it's becoz of health reasons. like, carrying excess weight makes my heart work more, and yesh, my chest hurts once in a while. and, my back always feels strained. but is it not becoz of pressure from society? tt slim is beauty? tt being big and fat means one cannot be confident of herself? what superficiality. i laugh at myself. but still laughing doesn't rub of the problem. we'll still into the craze of slimness and beauty. what contradiction. this world. lives on contradictions. it feeds on contradictions. i look left i look right. and pple are always telling me to loose the extra pound. gee... i've nvr thought of weight issue as an issue itself for myself since young. but as i grow older. i can't deny tt pressure is added on every single waking mmt. superficiality happiness. alas, is beauty all tt superficial?

2004-11-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

*tots for the day. have been thinking much on the very basis of friendship, and simply becoz i've nothing better to do* Once it has passed you by. It has passed you by. No turning back they say. Just forward steps, grabbing at opportunities along the way. Some say that the moment you were born, you were counting down to your death. How morbid that sounds! But, think about it's quite true. But many a times, in the midst of rush, and meaningless pursue of riches in the world, we forgot the very basis of our existence. Love. If, we didn't need human affection, or to even be cared upon, oh, we just could jolly well live off on an isolated island, left to die since birth. The truth is, even the most basic cave men needed support. Why did we all evolve into a service sector? Agriculture? Manufacturing industry? It's becoz men started to think and relied on each other for exchange in goods and service, coz they found out tt by doing smart butter trade, they gain more. Men cannot live alone to fend for himself. Imagine the harsh cold winter, one is no good, chances of freezing to death even with the thickest coat is high. Two is better, can warm each other with the body heat. Thus, men really can't live alone by themselves. But in the name of fame, and richness, we have neglected the very basic thing in life. Alas, many people have turned their backs on friends so on and so forth. I know plenty back stabbers. All in the name to be the best. You gain some and you lose some. You gain glory for yourself but you end up losing more, coz you lose friends who gives you the most support and recognition. Once it has passed you by. It has indeed pass you by.

2004-10-31T21:15:00.000-08:00

orh.... last week was such an interesting week.. cut my hair... apparently, pple commented tt i look younger. haha.. mayann was quite funny she said this :"val, you look young, but i'll still treat you as auntie" .... ... .... haha... then adeline very funny she said this :" val, you look younger, like xiao mei mei like tt..." gee...it's only hair le... but yah, i think i look like some sec school kid like tt.. hahah... hahahahhahaha... anyway, tt was tuesday right?? then come thursday, a rash appeared on my shoulder bone area, then come friday something disastrous occurred. i got bitten by an insect, i doubt it's mosqi i think it's something else.. squashed it before it had a chance to bite me again... but alas... it has done its deed... i suffered from allergy rash for the entire weekends... it started out having ugly looking red patches on my elbows, then it spread, then my knees got ugly red patches... tt was at noon on sat... but then.. it got only worse... by the time i went to church at 5, my ears itched terribly, my forehead got ugly red spots.... then i rushed home for dinner... then.... at 10 pm, i happily sat down on the wooden floor.wah i tell you ah, my butt ached and hurt so badly, i had to sit on my bed and nothing but my bed, and then both my feet swelled, and so did my fingers... to walk to the toilet became an adventure or some sort, coz i couldn't exactly walk painless... and the night was terrible, i couldmnt really sleep with the itchy bumps on my neck and scalp.. horror horror.. i didn't know one bite from a tiny insect and the mixture of antibotics in my body can cause such adverse reactions... so, now its a monday, after having eaten medicine, my rash is slowly going away, my feet are less swollen.. i now can stroll and walk like a penguin... (funny right) but you know the medicine has a really bad effect on me... coz i'm currently eating some rash allergy medicine, and steroids (yah.. she had to give it to me...) ... one of the medicine which was suppose to help me go to sleep, had such a great effect on me, i conked out from 1 am all the way to noon today.. and the thing is, you don't know whether you're dreaming or in reality... was rather helpless... i mean, i didn't even have the slightless strength to open my mouth and speak to my mother this morning.. and had to rely on her to drag me outta bed.. even now, its 1.14 pm and i'm still a bit gong gong... and the pill was so small lor... *shivers* wonders of a little pill.. oh well.. anyway, time for me to go eat lunch... =)

2004-10-26T05:53:00.000-07:00

i cut my hair today.. darn short.. it's like when i first stepped into ACJC like tt.. quite funny.. actually i'm okay with the length. just tt it's super straight cut which makes it look really funny.. haha... oh well... but my hair dressersay for a change. anyway, i'm going back to have it trimmed again 2 weeks time. so i'll just bear with the look tt yells "nerd" or "bad hair day" haha... but i like my short fringe though...